Shore Leave
by waiting4morning
Summary: Mass Effect drabbles from all three games. Some serious, some humorous. Based on prompts and random ideas. Various characters, Shepards, and het pairings; mostly Shenko.
1. No Coward Soul

_A/N: __Bioware owns Mass Effect.  
_

**No Coward Soul**

* * *

Kaidan finished the last crisp fold of the Alliance flag and pressed it into Mrs. Williams' waiting arms.

"As a representative of the Alliance Systems Navy, it is my high privilege to present you this flag. Let it be a symbol of the grateful appreciation this galaxy feels for the distinguished service rendered to humanity by your loved one." The ceremonial words felt flat from his mouth, and he broke protocol slightly by pressing the older woman's hands. Her mouth trembling, Mrs. Williams nodded once in grateful acknowledgement and held the flag to her chest.

With that, the formal ceremony was over. Kaidan sat back down on the front row, Commander Shepard at his right as Ashley's family accepted the condolences of the other funeral attendees. Soon, along with Ash's family, they were the only ones left at the gravesite. Like many military families who didn't get closure in the form of a body to bury, the Williams family decided to erect a small holographic memorial. This memorial site was located on wide swath of sun-baked prairie—just outside the small town Kusanagi on Amaterasu. The sky was a clear blue with fluffy white clouds racing across the expanse. Kaidan glanced to his left where Joker sat stiff on his chair, hands white-knuckled where he gripped his canes. The pilot caught his eye and threw him a tight-lipped grin.

"Just imagining what Ash would say about the twenty-one gun salute..." He swallowed hard, not bothering to finish. He sat for a moment and then stood, his leg braces whirring as they supported his weight. "Later, LT." Joker adjusted his crutches and stood for a moment at the holographic picture of Ashley, grinning at them, her brown eyes alight with mischief.

Kaidan glanced to his right. "Commander?"

"Just one minute," she murmured, standing and going to stand beside Joker. Kaidan followed, tugging his white hat back on. They approached Ashely's parents and sisters, but there, Shepard's customary confidence wilted slightly. Kaidan knew that she'd talked them already via vid phone—but this was the first time she'd seen them face to face. It couldn't be easy.

"Commander?" the youngest sister, Sarah, spoke up before Shepard could open her mouth. Kaidan could see traces of Ashley in the way the girl held her head, in the way she looked directly at the person she was speaking to.

"Yes?"

"Ash always loved this one poem, but she didn't let anyone know. She thought that liking Emily Brontë might make her seem like a wuss." A smile broke through the grief on the teenager's face. "Would you mind reading it for us? I know she'd like that."

Shepard's face wavered and Kaidan thought for a moment that she would break. But she steadied and took the outstretched slip of paper with barely a tremble in her fingers.

"I would be honored to," she said quietly. At some unspoken sign, they family gathered around the small holographic representation of Ash.

"_No coward soul is mine,  
No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere:  
I see Heaven's glories shine,  
And Faith shines equal, arming me from Fear._

_O God within my breast,  
Almighty, ever-present Deity!  
Life, that in me has rest,  
As I, undying Life, have power in Thee!._

_Vain are the thousand creeds  
That move men's hearts: unutterably vain;  
Worthless as withered weeds,  
Or idlest froth amid the boundless main,_

_To waken doubt in one  
Holding so fast by Thy infinity,  
So surely anchored on  
The steadfast rock of Immortality._

_With wide-embracing love  
Thy Spirit animates eternal years,  
Pervades and broods above,  
Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates, and rears._

_Though earth and moon were gone,  
And suns and universes ceased to be,  
And Thou wert left alone,  
Every existence would exist in Thee._

_There is not room for Death,  
Nor atom that his might could render void:  
Thou -Thou art Being and Breath,  
And what Thou art may never be destroyed."_

"Amen," whispered Sarah, eyes glittering with tears. Commander Shepard closed her eyes briefly and then pulled the girl into an awkward hug. Joker, standing off to the side, muttered something and quickly swiped at his eyes. Kaidan felt his own eyes prickle.

"Welcome home, Ash."


	2. Prompt: Oh! Darling!

These next few drabbles are a series of unrelated stories inspired by prompts at the masseffect LJ community. Unbeta'd, so consider yourself warned! Constructive crit welcome.

* * *

**Prompt: Oh! Darling!**

Jacob considered himself a competent man, as far as most things went. And if he didn't know something, he asked questions; did his research. So when Shepard's birthday came around, Jacob knew that something was expected of him. At least, he thought that's what the scowl on her face meant.

"There's this club on Illium – _Oh! Darling!_ – it's pretty good. She'll be impressed if you take her there," Joker said. Jacob doubted at first, knowing the pilot's sense of humor, but crewmen Hadley, Matthews, and Hawthorn all corroborated that it was a "nice place." Jacob mentally shrugged off his doubts and reserved a table on the extranet, listing "birthday" under the "special occasions" option.

When the night came for their date, Shepard even wore a little black dress—the one that Kasumi had bought for her.

"League of your own, Liz," Jacob said, grinning as Shepard stepped off the elevator in the CIC. She blushed at the open admiration in his gaze.

"It's still too short," she muttered, tugging at the hem. "And it shows my boobs."

Jacob refrained from chuckling—outspoken and no-nonsense Shepard might be, but she also had a modest streak a mile wide. Give her a platoon of mercenaries and her shotgun, and she'd on them like ugly on a batarian. Give her a pair of sexy heels and a dress, and she stammered like a teenager. Still, he knew she liked his appreciation—she showed it when they were alone.

They walked through the Nos Astra spaceport, Shepard twitching self-consciously, trying to pull up the front of her dress until Jacob took her hand, threading their fingers.

He finally had her laughing and relaxing when they arrived at _Oh! Darling!_ And stopped. Horrified.

_Oh! Darling!_ was a strip club—not the usual asari dancers that were a dime a dozen—but male dancers. Human men with washer-board abs gyrated on the stage, though they weren't the only species represented—Jacob spotted a couple of turians, one drell, even a batarian and—was that an _elcor_ lumbering in the dim shadows?

_Oh no. Please no, _was Jacob's fleeting thought before Shepard's grip on his hand became like a vise.

"Jacob—"

"Ah, you must be the birthday girl!" A turian wearing what might be considered "normal" clothing if you didn't look too close sauntered up.

"Touch me and I will ruin your day!" Shepard snarled.

To Jacob's surprise, the turian laughed, then turned and gestured behind him. "Gen! The lady's not satisfied with one—better get over here before she gets really mad."

"We wouldn't want that to happen," purred an olive-scaled drell who was wearing even less than the turian. "Do you want me to trill 'Happy Birthday' to you? I'm told most human women find our voices erotic."

Shepard's protest became a strangled noise in her throat. Her cheeks were flaming red—nearly as red as her eyes had been before getting fixed by Dr. Chakwas' fancy machine.

_I'm going to kill Joker,_ Jacob thought and stepped forward. "Look this is all a misunderstanding—" He tried to say, but Shepard started dragging him away, a murderous look on her face. He made no move to fight—she was ridiculously strong when she wanted to be.

He'd imagined a dozen different ways she might hurt him when they rounded the corner from the concierge station and were alone in the docking bay that had access to the _Normandy_.

Shepard abruptly dropped his hand and leaned over, shoulders shaking. Jacob stared at her as she laughed—laughed so hard that tears gathered at the corners of her eyelashes, smearing the mascara that Miranda had so painstakingly applied.

"Never—" she gasped, "never, _ever_ take advice from Joker."

Jacob chuckled. "Agreed. I'm still thinking of a way to punish him."

"Oh?" Shepard's grin became predatory, and she walked toward him with a swing in her hips that made him gulp. He backed away but hit the wall. Shepard's hands planted on either side of him, and she leaned in close enough that he could see the scattering of deceptively innocent freckles dotting her nose.

"Let's not talk about Joker's punishment yet," she purred. "I still have to think of what I'm going to do to _you._"


	3. Prompt: Who cooks when Gardner is gone?

**Prompt: the whole crew is kidnapped by the collectors but someone needs to clean the toilets and cook.**

"Once worked undercover as a short-order cook," Mordin said, passing out steaming dishes to everyone at the mess. "Got commendations; bonuses; good pay—not scope of mission, but fun."

"Er, Professor, would you mind telling us what kind of restaurant this was?" Jacob did not look at the other faces near him, knowing they would look nauseated as he felt. Only Grunt was tearing into the meal with gusto. His loud chewing and slurping echoed throughout the nearly empty ship.

Mordin blinked and picked up something small and squirmy from his plate. "Krogan."


	4. Prompt: Garrus and his father

**Prompt: Garrus and his father**

Garrus flexed his mandibles—the right one was still sore—he could put this off. But he knew he shouldn't.

Shepard stopped by, his stocky form already encased in armor. "Joker's going to hit the Omega relay. Ready?"

"Just about. Got one thing to take care of."

Shepard nodded and left. Garrus typed a few keys, then straightened his back as the vid mail recorder came on.

"Hi Dad. You're probably wondering why I'm sending this message after… after the things I said when I left last year." His mandibles pulsed nervously. "I… I'm on an important mission right now—one I think even you would be proud of. Maybe I can tell you about it someday. If I come back." Garrus shifted. "That's why I'm calling. This mission… I may not return and I thought I should call…"


	5. Prompt: Foreboding Overlord DLC spoile

**Prompt: foreboding**

Based on my first playthrough of the Overlord DLC. I figured out what David was saying on the geth ship. Gave me the shivers. Spoilers ahead!

* * *

"Good thing we have experience blowing up rogue VIs," Tali smirked.

Nodding, Shepard scanned the empty room. Something wasn't right.

Shepard approached a computer. Another work log, more about linking into the geth network. A crackle of electronic noise howled through the air. Tali swore as spectral VI face showed up on the console. Shepard winced at the noise. It was almost like… Was the VI—David—trying to talk?

"Shepard-Commander," Legion said. "The VI is communicating via geth aural patterns. I can attempt to 'de-clutter' it."

"Do it."

From the speakers in his head, Shepard heard the noise again, but this time she could understand it: _"Please…. Make it stop."_

Shepard felt her blood run cold. "It's... he's in pain."


	6. Prompt: JacobMiranda

**Prompt: Jacob/Miranda**

Jacob didn't even yell as he went down—his eyes were wide with shock as the bullet ripped through his biotic barriers and slammed into his shoulder. Miranda released a warp so powerful that the mercenary's armor shredded and then she was running to where he'd fallen.

Damned fool, he sacrificed the safety of combat armor for maximum mobility. Her breath caught in her throat. The pool of blood seemed too big.

"Jacob! No!" He couldn't be dead—he was stronger than that—he promised he'd never leave her.

Jacob's dark eyes opened and latched onto hers. "Hey—" he said, or tried to say because Miranda erased the distance between them by crashing her mouth into his.

Something tapped her shoulder. Miranda looked up to see Shepard trying to hold back a grin. "Uh, Miranda, he needs medi-gel."


	7. Prompt: Personal Space

_Another from the drabble prompts at the Mass Effect LJ community. Good times to be had by all! Unbeta'd so consider yourself warned, etc.  
_

* * *

**Prompt: personal space**

Commander Shepard indulged a moment of weakness, leaning her head against the wall of the elevator. Of all the elevators on the Citadel, she had to get stuck in this one.

A male throat cleared itself in the background.

"What?" Shepard growled, not turning around.

"Nothing," Kaidan Alenko said, rocking back on his heels. A small smile played at the corner of his mouth and Shepard had to look away quickly. "Just… the irony of it all."

"Indeed." Shepard sighed and turned around, crossing her arms across her chest. "The salarian tech on the other end of the emergency line said it wouldn't be long."

The smile on Kaidan's mouth—_stop looking at his mouth_—grew bigger. "You said that already, Shepard."

She scowled. "Well, you have any bright ideas, _Staff Commander_? Seems we're going to be here awhile."

Kaidan took a step toward her, and in the tiny elevator it divided the already small space between them in half. Shepard's personal bubble was sensitive at the best of times, but with this man it was so palpable she could nearly see him purposely poking at it—like passing through the mass effect field of a ship. Shepard's breath caught in her throat as she caught sight of the gold flecks in his brown eyes. She'd tried to count them one night—_stop it!_

"I could think of a few things, Shepard," he said, his eyes roaming her face and coming to rest on her lips.

"S-such as?"

Kaidan took another step closer. "Such as…" He leaned so close that Shepard could feel her knees liquefying the closer he came. "Such as why you faked your death and left your crew to the bitter mercies of the Alliance."

Shepard felt ice craw down her spine, lending strength to her weak legs. "Like I said before, Kaidan," she said, narrowing her eyes. "I didn't fake my death; Cerberus can kiss my—" Her words were abruptly cut off as Kaidan closed the remaining distance between them, cupping her face between his hands and bringing his lips to hers.

"Sorry," he said a moment—_not long enough_—later. "I interrupted you. It… was very rude."

"I missed you," she said into his neck. "I mean, it felt like only a couple of days for me—" She was rambling. Damn the man; he was the only one who could make her feel like an unschooled ensign and by the grin on his face, he knew it too.

He brushed a thumb across her babbling lips. "I missed you too."


	8. Prompt: Sea Green

**Prompt: Sea green**

Sarah Williams hated the Citadel. It smelled funny – not at all like the warm-baked hills of Amaterasu—and everything was sterile plastisteel—never the sea green sky she was used to. But her mother and sisters had sacrificed so much for her to get this chance—she wasn't going to let them down.

Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if she'd actually made some friends… But it was hard. Between her studies and late shifts at the ramen stand, a social life was the last thing on her mind. If her plan went the way it was supposed to, she'd graduate with a medical degree in human and xenobiology. The Alliance recruiter she'd talked to on Amaterasu had virtually promised her a berth as soon as she graduated.

She wondered what Ashley would have done – if she were alive. Probably go to that nearest lounge and grab the nearest male for a dance. But Sarah wasn't Ashley – she wasn't good at just walking up to people. Sarah shook her head with a frown as she washed up the last of the pots from her shift. _Coward_, she could almost hear her dead big sister say. _A Williams never runs away from a challenge. _

Sarah grit her teeth. "Fine. One night only." She couldn't afford to go out more than that anyway.

* * *

Kolyat hated turian vomit. He hated human, elcor, and salarian vomit if it came to that, but turian vomit was particularly gross. He'd learned firsthand from his volunteering at the Dark Star that when turians threw up, their mandibles flared wide which meant vomit spewed from the front and sides of their toothy maws. It was a much bigger spray to have to clean up.

At least this one had managed to get most of it in the toilet. Kolyat grumbled to himself and cursed his perfect memory – he'd be dreaming about this for weeks.

After he'd stowed his cleaning supplies, Kolyat trudged to the main part of the lounge, stopping by the bar as the bartender waved him over.

"Rough crowd tonight, kid. Have a cold one – on the house." The turian slid a brightly colored drink cylinder his way.

Kolyat grimaced. "Thanks, but I've been smelling everything you serve all over the floor. Just water would be great."

The turian nodded, mandibles flaring in amusement and poured him his drink. Kolyat held the iced glass to his scaled head, appreciating the coolness against the small headache lingering in his skull. Drell rarely ventured into places like the Dark Star – the throbbing music and flashing lights played over and over again in perfect memory was a great start to a headache. He was slowly getting used to blocking it out, but he looked forward to the day he could leave it behind for good. Perhaps Thane would be done with Commander Shepard's mission by then and they could…

No, Kolyat reigned himself in with an effort. He'd fallen into solipsism before in a crowd, and it had not been a pleasant experience. Most thought he was just having some sort of fit; some laughed—and when he'd come to, his pocket had been picked. Sipping his water, Kolyat fought off the onset of memories bitter and sweet by looking at the people around him.

A slender salarian obscured by diplomat's robes bobbed unobtrusively to the music. Beside him, a turian couple shared drinks and jokes at a table. A krogan sat nursing a bucket-sized drink near the door. A lone human girl wandered in as his eyes were sliding off the krogan—petite, dark-haired, and looking as lost as Kolyat felt. She should have been unremarkable, except that Kolyat was fighting off memories and her dress was sea green—the exact color of Kahje's oceans.

_The hanar sing like bells. Mother's body is wrapped in seaweeds, weighted by stones. She slips beneath the waves so effortlessly. Why is she leaving? _

_

* * *

_

Sarah spots the drell at the bar almost as soon as she enters the room and hurries toward him as his eyes widen and his body pitches forward.

_Mnemonic episode. Unique to drell. Rarely preventable; not physically harmful though if it happens in the middle of a physical activity such as operating a vehicle, may cause collateral damage._ The words from her textbook flash through her mind and she realizes as she approaches him that he may not want her help. But she's a doctor—or almost one anyway—and she can't help but be concerned. The drell's arms are wiry and strong beneath her hands, but he's caught in his memory and doesn't notice at first.

He comes to after a moment, and she releases his arm. 'Are you okay?" she nearly has to shout because of the music.

"Yeah." His eyebrow ridges contract, looking faintly embarrassed. "Sorry. Didn't mean for you to hear that."

Sarah shook her head. "I didn't hear anything. You were falling forward. I was afraid you'd hurt yourself."

"Oh." He looked embarrassed again. "Thanks."

She fiddles with her purse, realizes she's staring at his scaled arms—the same sea green color as Amaterasu's sky—and remembers Ashley.

"I'm Sarah Williams." She bows slightly, thankful that her class on xeno-cultural etiquette was twice a week.

"Kolyat Krios." He looks a little bewildered at having been descended on in such a manner, but Sarah smiles. Somewhere, she knows Ashley is smiling too.


	9. Sea Green, the sequel

Sarah hefted the bag of medi-gel over her shoulder and took it over to the station set on the wall. The medi-gel dispensary's warning light had been blinking for days. Luckily the box of refill packets had arrived just that morning.

"Is that too heavy, Sarah? Do you need help?" The lightly accented voice drifted over to her from her boss's desk.

"I'm fine, Dr. Michel," Sarah said with a reassuring smile, turning back to the station to insert the tube from the bag into the boxy contraption on the wall. She'd started at the small ward clinic about a month prior. If she'd stayed on Amaterasu to continue her medical training, it would have been a full year before she got to interact with patients. But the Medical Sciences School of the Citadel University believed in early rotations for med students: hands-on learning was the best teacher, her professors said. The MSS was the best in the galaxy. If Commander Shepard hadn't died, leaving all her money to the Williams family, Sarah would still be on Amaterasu.

Sometimes she wished she were.

But things were better than when she had first arrived. Her studies had gotten more interesting. She'd found a small chapel to attend on what passed for Sunday on the Citadel, and she'd even made a new friend - Kolyat.

_Can I really count one awkward dinner at the Dark Star and an accidental meeting at the ramen stand friendship?_ Yes, she decided stubbornly. The alternative - that she was utterly alone on a huge, alien space station, was too depressing to consider. And she was making other friends - slowly. Dr. Chloe Michel had not manifested as the harsh taskmaster she had anticipated. Being the doctor in a clinic in the wards had not diminished her passion for helping people it and she was patient with Sarah's mistakes, and careful too, that none of them ever endangered a patient.

The internship at Dr. Michel's clinic also paid a little, and with her late night shifts at the ramen stand, Sarah had been able to splurge and import a hometown treat from New Genji on Amaterasu - dumplings stuffed with meat, rice, and vegetables. They would sit in her freezer until a special occasion. A taste of home as something to look forward to was a bright spot in her otherwise dull routine.

The door to the clinic hissed open just as the last of the goopy medi-gel was siphoning into the station on the wall. Dr. Michel stood from her desk as a turian holding a towel to his face came through the door and paused. Dr. Michel stared for a moment and then hurried over, snapping gloves on as she went.

"Sir, don't try to speak, I can see your mandible is injured."

The turian nodded, looking relieved at not having to speak. Even from her vantage point by the medi-gel dispenser, Sarah could now see the towel he held against his face was blue with his blood. Dr. Michel's voice was calm as she convinced the turian - a dark-plated fellow - to sit down so she could examine the injury. Sarah finished emptying the bag and shut the medi-gel dispenser, hurrying over to grab a first aid kit from the "dextro-amino" drawer.

Dr. Michel's turian had removed the towel, revealing several broken teeth, and his right mandible hanging by a mere thread of tendon. Sarah swallowed hard. Dry academic textbooks were one thing, but seeing an injury like this on living, breathing person was another. Instead she looked instead at the first aid kit, holding it open so Dr. Michel could retrieve the emergency syringe of medi-gel and bandages. The older woman nodded her thanks.

"Sir, I can administer medi-gel and give you something for the pain, but it is imperative that you go to a hospital. A surgeon will need to reattach the mandible and sew it in place while it heals. Sarah?"

Sarah nodded and hurried to the desk for the automatic "call ambulance" button.

"Sarah," Dr. Michel said over her shoulder, "I'm going to make sure he gets to the hospital okay. I won't be gone long." The older woman smiled. "I know you can handle this place by yourself. Be careful and don't be afraid to call the hospital for another ambulance if there's an emergency.

Sarah nodded. "I'll be fine."

The ambulance arrived a few moments later. Dr. Michel helped the turian - now stumbling from blood loss - into the vehicle. Sarah chewed her lower lip for a moment in indecision, then walked to the small janitor closet, pressing the button for the automatic bot to clean and sanitize the blue blood that had spilled while the injured turian had been seated.

What would it be like, she wondered, walking over to the small desk and sitting down, to have a clinic like this to herself someday? Sarah glanced around at the sterile walls. _Lonely_, she decided. No wonder Dr. Michel had been so effusively welcoming on her first day.

Or perhaps there were safety in numbers, Sarah thought, as her eyes grazed a small hole high up on the plastisteel wall that she hadn't noticed before. She stood from the desk chair to see it better - though she could hardly imagine anyone coming to shoot at the sweet-tempered Dr. Michel, there was no denying that the hole was the same size as a round from a gun—probably a pistol. Sarah shivered, considering turning on the radio in the computer just to chase away the silence. She wasn't scared to be alone, per se. In high school she had been top of her class in aikido—she knew how to defend herself against a larger, stronger adversary.

A thump at the front of the clinic made her jump. The door hissed open to admit two lurching figures.

"Eddie! What's going on?"

C-Sec officer Eddie Lang had given her directions her first day when she'd mistakenly taken the stairs that led toward the access elevator to the Academy. He'd stopped by a couple of times a week since then, joking and making Dr. Michel laugh with his stories from the trouble people got into around the Wards. Eddie looked up at her, tension clear in the set of his jaw and she finally looked over at who he had his arm around...

"Kolyat! Sarah scrambled to meet them, feeling a hollow pit in her stomach as the young drell's blood dripped onto the tile floor. "Over here." She directed Eddie to one of the cots in the back of the clinic trying not to let her voice tremble.

Kolyat grunted as he sat down, hand still squeezed around the bicep of his other arm. Blood oozed down his arm, staining the blue of his C-Sec uniform.

"Hey, Sarah," he said with a wince. "Didn't expect to see you down here."

She gave him a tremulous smile, hearing the shock in his voice, and turned to Eddie as she pulled on a clean pair of gloves. "What happened?"

Eddie's usually cheerful face crumpled into a scowl. "Damned recruits not following proper safety protocols. Kolyat was working the range. I was there shooting, killing some time before my shift started, and some loudmouthed ensign started waving his pistol around like some kind of crazy vid star." Eddie shook his head. "I tackled him after the shot went off, but the damage was done."

Sarah coaxed Kolyat to lift his hand from the wound. The round had gone clean through, it looked like, so that was good, However, infection could set in if she didn't take care of this now…

"Eddie, can you wait in the front, please?" Sarah looked up at the big man. "I don't want to risk infection."

"Got it." Eddie nodded. "Tell you what: I'll head back down to C-Sec and let them know he's getting patched up. As a witness to the event, I'll need to fill out some paperwork. You going to be okay here?"

"Yes," Sarah replied. "Thanks Eddie." She turned back to her patient. Kolyat's usually vibrant blue-green scales were looking a little mottled. "Kolyat, I need to clean and treat the wound, so first I'm going to give you something for the pain. Okay?"

Kolyat nodded nervously. "It's safe for drell, right?"

Sarah smiled. "Of course. It may make you feel a little strange, but likely you won't remember it."

Kolyat snorted. "Yeah, right."

Scales were notoriously hard to puncture with a needle, so she gave him a couple of tablets to swallow. She applied first aid medi-gel to the wound while they waited for the painkiller to kick in.

"So what are you doing at the academy, Kolyat?" Sarah asked, hoping to take his mind off the pain. "I thought you worked with Bailey on Zakera ward."

Kolyat blinked, and she realized his inner eyelids were shut. _A physiological response to trauma_, she thought to herself. One hand was holding gauze to his wound, so she closed her left hand gently over his. _Poor guy… He said something about his dad being off station… must be awful going through something like this without any family around._

"I… uh, I am," he said after a moment, his hand twitching under hers. "Bailey wants me to get familiar with the Academy in case I ever sign up with C-Sec."

"Do you want to?"

Kolyat shrugged then winced. "I don't know. I mean, most of the stuff I do right now is community service—like my shifts at the Dark Star. Bailey's let me sit behind the glass for a couple of routine questionings, but they were a little boring. He says my memory would be perfect for detective work, though."

"That would be fascinating," Sarah said, genuinely interested.

Kolyat looked at her. "Would you want to remember in vivid detail every wound you've sutured? Every time you've had your hands in someone's chest?" He shifted and winced, eyeridges furrowing. "I suppose it's different if you're saving someone… but… I don't know. I don't think…" His words began to slow and slur. "I don't… want… to remember the mangled… bodies of murder victims."

Seeing that the painkiller was starting to take effect, Sarah drew her equipment closer. "Alright, Kolyat, let's have you lean back here. How are you feeling?"

"Floaty," Kolyat said, his inner eyelids flicking back to their normal positions.

"How is your arm? Any pain?"

"Nope, nope, nope! The ceiling's a little shiny though."

Sarah bit back a laugh and helped him lean against the reclined cot so she could reach his arm. She worked quickly, amazed in a distant part of her mind that she was able to recall her training even when working on a friend. Or maybe she was able to do it _because_ Kolyat was a friend.

A few minutes later, Kolyat began to act a little strange. His arm was bandaged, but Sarah was taking his vitals, double-checking that everything was okay.

Kolyat blinked, his lids slow and heavy. Sarah, listening to his heart beat and counting them didn't notice until too late that Kolyat's finger was reaching up until she felt a sharp poke on her breast.

"What're these for?" he said, voice slurred with the pain meds. "Asari have 'em and so do you humans. What' are they?" He poked again. Sarah moved out of reach, rolling her eyes.

"They're called breasts. Human women and asari use them to feed their young. Don't poke; it's rude."

"What about this stuff?" Kolyat reached up to flick at the dark hair hanging down over her face. "Seems like it would be annoying."

Sarah sighed. "It's just hair. Now stay still. I have to—ow!" Sarah felt a sharp, painful tug on her hair.

"Ew, you're stuck on me! Get off!" More painful tugging.

"Ouch! Kolyat, what are you—stop that!"

Once she grabbed Kolyat's hand, she could see that some of her hairs had caught on the overlapping ends of the small, fine scales on his hands. Great.

"Ger off!"

"I'm trying, Kolyat! Stop moving—" Sarah had to lean forward to get enough slack in her hair to work, but it was difficult to see this close. Working by feel, she succeeded in pulling one strand free.

"I'm thirsty." Kolyat announced and proceeded to try to sit up.

Sarah's eyes watered as the pain on her head increased. "Kolyat, no! Please don't."

"But I'm thirsty!" he said, still shifting on the bed.

"If you move one inch before I've gotten my hair off your hand, I'll... I'll sit on you!" It was a childish response, one she remembered Abby using against her when they would fight over something silly and Abby would use her bigger size to her advantage.

"I'm getting a drink." Kolyat insisted.

"Oh no you don't!"

* * *

Dr. Michel walked in a few moments later, shaking her head at how long it had taken to get to the clinic through the rush hour traffic, and stopped to stare at the sight of her polite young intern straddling a... was that a drell? The drell's hands were caught up in her hair.

She coughed into her hand and Sarah turned, eyes wild. "Dr. Michel!" she squeaked. "I—"

Chloe raised a hand. "It's okay, Sarah. I was your age once. But we'll need to have a serious discussion later about this. For now, I will go back outside and grab a bite to eat. When I return, I hope to see you both... in order."

"Dr. Michel, wait, it's not what it looks like! Please, it hurts—!"

Chloe sighed as she exited the clinic. Honestly. It was so hard to find hardworking young people these days.


	10. Prompt: Revelations

**Prompt: Revelations**

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The first thing she does when getting to her cabin is go into the tiny bathroom. Staring at her face over the mirror, Andie Shepard touches a glowing scar. With a mixture of fear and grim determination, she begins to strip off clothing.

She is still female, she notes with faint, amused relief, but her skin… Glowing lines of crisscrossing scars made her look like a badly-made rag doll, like the one she'd had as a child on Mindoir.

She pokes one of her breasts experimentally: these things were probably just for show now. The thought startles her and the memory of Kaidan's face is like a punch to the gut. Desires, buried deep, rise unbidden to the surface in her newly alive mind: a house in a valley and a boy and a girl, both with Kaidan's eyes.

She realizes she's weeping and leans over the sink, hand pressed against her abdomen. She is alive, but she will never create life.


	11. Prompt: Unrequited love

**Prompt: Unrequited love**

Shepard stared.

The object of her affections stared back.

"You're bad for me, you know," she said, her fingers tapping absent patterns against her thigh.

"I see you and it's just… I don't know. It's like I'm home, you know? But…" she bit her lip and turned away. "There are… issues between us. We're not physically compatible." She held up a hand, forestalling any objections. "I know, we had fun last time, right?" Shepard winced and rubbed a hand across her abdomen. "Well it was fun at first, just tasting—" She coughed and folded her hands across the table, business-like. "I can't do this anymore. We need to call it quits."

No response.

Shepard nodded, compassion flitting across her eyes and stood. "I'll leave now. It'll be easier on both of us."

As her footfalls faded into the distance, Mess Sergeant Gardner looked up at the turian rummaging through the dextro-amino fridge. "Does she always talk to ice cream like that?"

Garrus's mandibles flared. "You should see her talk to cheese."


	12. Prompt: femShepKaidan awkward

_Another un-beta'd response from the Me_Challenge LJ community insanity round. Come and join the fun and get great prompts._

**Prompt: femShep/Kaidan – awkward**

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"Anderson told you to stay in the Terminus systems!" Kaidan hissed as he, Shepard, and two of her team members clomped through the Zakera Ward market.

Shepard shot her former lover a disdainful glance. "He did no such thing. Besides," she added with a sniff. "I'm shopping."

Garrus and Zaeed trailed behind. "What's with the Alliance stiff?" Zaeed grumbled, his mismatched gaze following Kaidan.

Garrus shook his head. "Just stay out of it, Massani. Hopefully, we'll be out of the line of fire when they decide to really go at it."

"Shopping?" Kaidan repeated incredulously. "I thought you were out saving the galaxy—again."

Shepard paused at a human store, wistfully eyeing a pair of jeans. "There's no need for you to follow me around, _Staff Commander_. I promise not to kill anyone."

"Well we know how good you are at keeping your promises," Kaidan replied acidly. "Like your vows to the Alliance."

Shepard stopped in her tracks.

"Oh boy…" Garrus muttered and gestured Zaeed back a few steps.

"I know what this is really about," Shepard said, turning to face Kaidan, her face flushed red. "You just couldn't stand that I'm _mortal_, for crying out loud! I died. I left you behind, and when I came back you weren't the first to know. Well you know why? Because your damned file is too classified and, oh yeah, the minute I _try_ to tell you what's going on, you shove it back in my face and accuse me of working for terrorists! Not really a way to get on my good side, Alenko! I was going to tell you how much you mean to me, how much I love you, but you didn't let me!"

Shepard's voice by that time had risen to a yell and passersby had turned to stare.

"Ah!" A volus trundled over from the store they had stopped in front of, apparently oblivious to the intense stare going between the dark-haired Alliance officer and the heavily armed commando. "I know a fertile mating pair when I see one! I have just the thing—the Voltron series 500 is a great aircar. Seats up to twelve bulbous children—"

The volus trailed off when he realized that the human couple who had stopped right in front of his store were not paying him the least bit of attention and in fact, seemed to be mauling each other….

.oOo.

"Don't even think about laughing, Bailey," Shepard growled, sprawled in a chair in the C-Sec offices.

"Now why would I do that?" The blond captain smirked. "After all, I routinely arrest former Spectres and Alliance officers for—what was that charge again?—oh yes, 'attempted violence and public indecency'."

"We weren't fighting," Kaidan grumbled. "It's not my fault a volus doesn't know what kissing looks like."


	13. Prompt: Garrus: So this is Earth?

**Prompt: Garrus - "So this is Earth, huh?"**

A/N: Features Koen Shep from my other fic "Promises."**  
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"So," Garrus said, shaking a handful of confetti from his fringe. "This is Earth, huh?"

Koen ignored Miranda's badly disguised laughter. "Yep."

Shepard had forgotten what day it was when they left the spaceport. First Contact Day. In an effort to smooth over past grudges and facilitate peaceful relations with turians, the Alliance had recently instituted a holiday celebrating humanity's first contact with an extra-solar species. What better way to do that than with parades, safe-for-human foods modeled on turian favorites, and…

Garrus watched as a teenager in a badly made rubber costume sauntered past. "Not really what I was expecting, Commander."

The teenager did a double take at Garrus and loped over, the paint flecked foam pieces of his "fringe" bobbing. "Hey, dude, Happy Contact Day! That's a great turian costume. Where'd you get it?"


	14. Prompt: Tali Bite Your Tongue

**Prompt: Tali - Bite Your Tongue**

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* * *

**

Tali was amazed at herself in a distant part of her mind. Her mouth said all the proper things to the people that mattered most to her: Aunt Shala, Admiral Han'Gerral, Veetor, Captain Kar'Danna… she even laughed at something Shepard said as they traveled down the corridors to reach the docking station for the _Normandy_.

"Leaving without goodbye, ma'am?"

Tali turned so quickly her neck hurt. "Kal!"

The crimson armored man folded his arms behind his back. "I, uh, wanted to wish you luck, ma'am. You said you had a mission to complete with Commander Shepard."

Tali closed her eyes. _Don't say it_. "Yes. I… Thank you, Kal."

"You're welcome… ma'am." He rocked forward on the balls of his feet, as if wanting to step closer or wanting to say something else, but all he did was nod and turn around. Then he was gone.

"Why didn't you say something, Tali?" Shepard's voice was quiet at her back.

"It wouldn't be fair," Tali said her luminescent eyes following the red armor as it retreated through the deck. "We may not return from this little vacation to the Collector base." She turned to face the armored human at her side. "Isn't that why you said so little on Horizon?"

Shepard shifted, the eyes behind the helmet suddenly understanding. "Let's go, Tali. Sooner we get this over with, the sooner we'll both have something to say when we come back."


	15. Prompt: Feron: LoSB spoilers

**Prompt: Feron - Lair of the Shadow Broker spoilers ahead!**

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* * *

**

As the electricity began to arc around him, Feron sank deep into memory. He was lucky in a way. The vast majority of the Shadow Broker's victims did not have the brief respite of solipsism to bring them through the worst of the pain.

Not all of Feron's descents were pleasant, however. Sometimes he slip off to sleep and the torture would start anew, startling him awake with blazing pain. At those times he leapt for any memory and they were not always happy: _Merope's slender body slipping beneath the glassy sea; the last view of Kahje from the shuttle; the expression of anguish on Liara's face_. Liara.

More often than not, he found himself reliving memories of her—the brief time they knew each other had impressed upon him her absolute passion for her work, whether it be dusty Prothean artifacts or recovering the body of a beloved friend. Her smile, so rarely given in those days, played over and over again in his mind.

It was well he had that memory to cling to because it was likely he would never see her again in this life.

"Feron!"

He flinched in his bonds, still twitching from the last bout of electricity that had arced over his body. This new method the Shadow Broker had devised needed no technician standing over him, only machines and the ever present threat of pain. It was growing harder to sink so deeply into memory. Would the torture ever stop?

A cool hand touched his cheek, fingers caressing the leathery folds on his neck and he opened his eyes, thinking himself trapped again in memory. Liara smiled down at him, her lips trembling. "I am here, dear friend."


	16. Prompt: Thane finds Kasumi hiding

**Prompt: Thane finds Kasumi hiding**

**(Note: based on a tidbit from Grunt's dossier in the Lair of the Shadow Broker DLC. No real spoilers.)  
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**

Thane was at a momentary loss when he rounded the bend in the air duct to meet Kasumi Goto face to face in front of him.

His exploration of the ducts was one of habit—he always gave himself an escape route, even in places he felt most safe and the front line Cerberus ship full of mercenaries, psychotic murders, and the recently dead was anything but.

"Ah," Thane said, a flicker of his secondary eyelids the only concession he gave to surprise. "Miss Goto. You startled me."

"Shh!" The thief held one finger to her painted lip. "I'm hiding!"

Thane cocked his head and heard the roar of an infuriated krogan through one of the vents. He focused on Kasumi again who brought up something to bear: a small krogan action figure. Garr the krogan battlemaster, to be precise, with "real smash your enemies action." Grunt had explained the specifics to anyone within listening distance.

"Miss Goto, you didn't—"

Her full mouth quirked. "I'm afraid so."


	17. Prompt: Ashley Williams: Father's Day

_Another un-beta'd response from the Me_Challenge LJ community insanity round. Come and join the fun and get great prompts._

**Prompt: Ashley Williams – Father's Day**

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Ashley had never celebrated Father's Day when her dad was still alive. Part of the reason was it was the same day as her dad's birthday so it kind of got forgotten in the usual gift-giving and cake eating. But for the past two years, she'd changed her tune.

"Wakey, wakey, runt."

The little boy blinked owlishly at her and turned over. "Want sleep," he mumbled into his pillow.

She rolled her eyes. "You have to get up sometime. Besides, it's Father's Day."

The little boy curled up into a tight ball. "Don't have one."

Ashley swallowed past the lump in her throat and stroked his hair. "Yes you do. He's in Heaven, remember?"

Her omni-tool chimed. She glanced at the face and groaned. What did Anderson want now? But it was on a priority channel…

She pulled her son out of bed, ignoring his yelp of surprise, and called down the hallway to her sister. "Sar! Watch the runt for a minute, will ya?"

Sarah took the little boy while Ashley went to her room to open the message on her console. She read it. She read it again. She read it a total of ten times before its meaning finally sunk in:

_Shepard is alive._


	18. Prompt: Blasto Saves Christmas

Prompt: Blasto Saves Christmas

* * *

_"They thought they could cancel Christmas..."_

"All right, fat boy, hand over the goods!"

"It's Christmas Eve! Think about the children!"

_"But they were wrong._"

"This one thinks your holiday cheer is severely lacking."

"Oh no, it's Blasto!"

_"Blasto the hanar spectre is on the toughest mission yet. The happiness of billions of children depend on one jellyfish..."_

"Blasto, with your biotics so bright, won't you pull my sleigh tonight?"

_"Blasto Saves Christmas," destined to be a holiday favorite all over the galaxy._"

"This one wishes a Splendid Christmas to all and to all a good evening."


	19. Prompt: The Pretender

**Prompt: The Pretender**

"Commander, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," Kaidan said, biting back a scowl. Ever since SSV _Ypres_ had responded to the distress call on Horizon, he'd been bothered with questions. Why couldn't they leave him alone? He had an AAR to write up—Hackett had already pinged the _Ypres _more times than he could count, seeking answers to the disaster on Horizon… and the rumors of a Cerberus ship in the area.

The air seemed to stop moving. _She was alive._

"Commander, the captain wants me to run a scan. Said you were in some type of stasis field?"

Kaidan forced his eyes open, reminded himself of where he was: the medical bay of the _Ypres_, not the _Normandy_. Not the captains' quarters with a warm body pressed against his and the feel of silky hair threading through his fingers—

"Yeah," Kaidan said through a dry mouth. _It wasn't her. She would never join Cerberus. Not after Akuze._ "Some bug thing bit me and I couldn't move a muscle, but I was still aware."

_Would she?_

"Let's take a blood sample…"

_She even smelled the same._

"Hmm. Looks like your electrolytes are a bit off, but that's not unusual for biotics. Grab some grub on your way out. Other than that, I'd say you're fine!"

_Am I?_


	20. Prompt: Secrets

**Prompt: Secrets**

_Spoilers for Lair of the Shadow Broker! Set right after the mission._**  
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Shepard could feel the secrets churning in his gut like coffee on an empty stomach. The Shadow Broker's datapads lay scattered around his desk. Why had he felt the compulsion to read them all? He felt vaguely dirty, as if he'd been rifling through someone's closet. Some of them were harmless: Shepard doubted that Legion would care that he knew the geth was an avid extranet gamer. But others...

Enough. He stood, gathering the datapads, and left his cabin to distribute them to their proper owners. In favor of getting hard things over with as quickly as possible, he stopped at Miranda's office first.

"Here," he said, dropping the datapad on her desk and turning to leave. He was barely three steps to the door when Miranda spoke behind him.

"Did you read this?"

His first instinct was to lie. But as he turned to face her, a reassuring smile ready on his mouth, the look on her face made the impulse die. He cared about her—she deserved the truth.

"Yes."

Miranda folded her hands carefully in front of her. "I see." She paused. "I signed up with iPartner after Jacob and I... parted ways—"

Shepard lifted a hand, frowning. "Miranda, your user name on there is 'LawbringerSR2.' You weren't flying around in the _Normandy_ back then were you?"

The former Cerberus operative looked uncharacteristically shaken, though he could see the old mask trying to slip back into place.

Shepard let out a breath. He didn't have time for this. "Look, _Ms._ Lawson, if you wanted a fling with me you got it. Just don't expect anything more." He turned to leave.

"I was scared, Shepard!" She said, standing up, hands on her desk. He paused, glancing back over his shoulder.

"Things were different with you." She bit her lip. "This... meeting was after we rescued Oriana, when I started to feel... more than I should for you. It scared me. The last time I fell in love I got burned—hard. I thought... if I just got it out of my system I would get some perspective, make me realize that you weren't different than any other man." She paused and her voice softened on her next words, "But you are."

He turned around to see her eyes, pleading with him. The Miranda he used to know wouldn't have done that much-but she'd struggled and he understood how hard it was for her to let anyone in behind her walls.

"Miranda," Shepard walked back behind her desk and touched her cheek. "I... Look, I shouldn't have been reading that stuff anyway. It's private and I had no right."

She took his hands, rubbing the calluses on his fingers with her thumbs. "I can't blame you, really. Secrets are hard to resist. It's like a mystery you have to solve."

"Well, you're one mystery I haven't yet given up on, okay? Don't let anything else tell you otherwise." Shepard folded her into his arms. He'd been so close to losing her. Perhaps from now on he should let Liara handle the secrets. They were too much trouble.


	21. Mind meld? I'll pass

**Set during ME1.  
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Kaidan walked toward the elevator in the _Normandy SR-1_, intent on the datapad in his hand. He was passing the closet-sized bathroom when he heard a faint gagging sound from within and a muttered curse.

He knew he should just keep walking, but he was trained in first aid and if there was something… He tapped on the door, stomach churning. "Uh, Commander?"

He heard a splash of water and a cough before Shepard finally replied. "Door's open."

Kaidan pressed the release and stood in the doorway of the cramped space, noticing the ashy tinge to the commander's normally healthy skin, the faint perspiration on her upper lip, and the faint odor of sour vomit in the air.

"Something on your mind, Lieutenant?" she asked in a hollow echo of her brisk voice.

"Sorry for intruding, Commander," he said cautiously, "I, uh, was just walking by and heard—I mean wondered if you needed… anything?"

Shepard sighed, dragging the back of her wrist across her clammy forehead, seeming to debate whether to tell him something or not. "Alenko, do you have any experience with asari?"

Kaidan took the change in topic in stride. "Not much, ma'am. Worked once with a commando unit on a mission when I was still a private, but they dealt with our senior officer. Never really met any up close—aside from waitresses and the like—until Dr. T'Soni came aboard." He paused. "May I ask why, Commander?"

"Worms. In my head." Shepard shuddered. "That's what it felt like."

"You mean when Dr. T'Soni…"

"Melded with me, just now in the briefing room." She squeezed her eyes shut. "It took every ounce of training I possess to not vomit in her face."

Kaidan intruded further into the cramped space, concerned. "I've never had the experience myself," he admitted, "but from what buddies in my previous unit said, the, uh, encounter is supposed to be pleasant."

Shepard pressed her lips together, suppressing another shudder.

"Commander, may I?"

She looked up, questioning, then held absolutely still as Kaidan tipped her chin up with the lightest of touches and keyed his omni-tool to its first aid setting. He ran the device over Shepard's head, noticing the dilation of pupils that watched his every move.

Feeling slightly warm, and not just from the vent blowing over their heads, Kaidan shut down his tool. "It doesn't look like anything's obviously wrong, but you may want to talk to Dr. Chakwas. She'll know more about the interaction of alien and human physiology and her scanner could detect any abnormalities that my omni-tool isn't equipped to catch. You should also sip on a nutrient drink from the mess. It should help settle your stomach."

"Speaking from experience, Lieutenant?"

Kaidan tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace. "Migraines, ma'am. I'm lucky if pain and flashing lights are all that happen while they hit me."

Shepard nodded. "I understand." She rubbed her temples, wincing. "I rather feel like one's coming on myself." She glanced up at Kaidan. "This goes without saying, but please don't say anything about my… reaction. T'Soni seems like a nice enough kid: I don't want to hurt her feelings."

"Of course, ma'am."

He was entering log data into his work station later when Dr. T'Soni and Dr. Chakwas emerged from the medical bay. Some of their conversation drifted over to them.

"…appreciate your help, Dr. Chakwas. I feel much better with a good meal in me."

"It was nothing. Be sure to check in with the Commander when you get a chance."

"Oh! I will. I think… I think we connected on a deep level earlier, Doctor. There was something on her face … but I am so unfamiliar with humans; the expression could have meant anything."

_Yeah_, thought Kaidan, slightly amused, _like, "I'm trying not to throw up on you."

* * *

_

A/N: Prompted by some discussion on the ME LJ community after the "interactive comic" was revealed and the ensuing discussion about whether every Shepard experienced an asari mind meld as "pleasant."


	22. Prompt: You'll never be better than

Prompt: You'll never be better than Commander Shepard.

* * *

Kenneth stared at his cards. Gabby patted his arm consolingly.

"But… how?" he sputtered. "How'd she do it? _Again_?"

Gabby shrugged. "Royal beats a straight every time, Kenneth."

He stared at his cards as if the coveted face cards would magically appear. "I know but… how? How'd she do it? I have to play her again. It'll be different next time."

"You planning just to give her your paycheck then? You've already lost 500 credits," Gabby said, raising a brow as she shuffled the cards back into their box.

He stood from the table, his losing hand forgotten. "No, not again. You'll see. We'll play Skillian Blitz again and it'll happen."

Gabby shook her head. "Face it, Kenneth. You'll never be better than Commander Shepard."


	23. Prompt: Journal

**Prompt: Journal**

**A/N: Colonist background  
**

* * *

The therapist had suggested that she start a journal. She didn't want to, but maybe if she did, they wouldn't have to talk so much in the sessions. Not that she said anything, really. Dr. Patel _knew_ she still had nightmares and _knew_ she wasn't making friends with the other kids. Honestly, why even talk to him at all if he knew everything?

With a reluctant sigh, she picked up the stylus, twiddled it a bit, then, to have at least something to put on the page, started with her name: _Andrea Laine Shepard._

She paused, frowning, and wrote more. _But don't call me that. I hate my full name. _She tapped the stylus against her mouth thoughtfully. "Hate" was a good word for therapists. What else did she hate? Biting down on her lip, she wrote.

#

Dr. Patel knocked softly on Andie's door, but didn't hear a response. He sighed, tapping the override code on the panel. It wasn't the first time she'd skipped a session, but with cases like hers, you had to be watchful. No sharp objects, discrete monitoring… The door slid open to reveal the thin, pale teenager slumped over at her desk, asleep.

He paused, then walked over. The orange light of a datapad illuminated Andie Shepard's face and he raised an eyebrow. Had she actually taken his suggestion to start journaling? He eased the pad from under her arm, scanning the cramped writing.

_I hate it here. I hate the food. I hate the way the air smells. I hate the lady that teaches the classes…_

It went on in this vein for several sentences and then, Dr. Patel felt a fist squeeze his heart:

_I hate not seeing my mom in the mornings. I hate not hearing my baby sister cry in the middle of the night. I hate not getting vid mails from my brother. I hate waking up every night smelling smoke and burning hair._

_I hate that I'm still alive and they're not._


	24. Prompt: Stubble

Minor spoilers for a character reveal in ME3.

**Prompt: Stubble**

* * *

Kaidan opened his mouth to apologize to Commander Shepard, but before he could, she grabbed him by the ears and locked her lips to his.

Sometime later, when they came up for air, Kaidan finally found his voice. "B-but I had this huge speech planned and I don't even need to use it? What gives?"

Shepard gave him a slow smile and ran a finger along his jaw. "It was the stubble."


	25. Prompt: Loss of control

**Prompt: This is the price you pay for loss of control**

* * *

He's been locked in his quarters for several day cycles. How many he doesn't know; doesn't care.

_I killed someone._ Kaidan squeezed his eyes shut and wondered if he would be executed, like the bad guys in those vids Colby downloaded from the 'Net. He didn't think he could be executed without a trial, but he didn't know for sure. Things worked differently in space.

He rubbed his face with the heels of his hands. He hoped Rahna was okay. The way she looked at him after what he did... Kaidan swallowed.

Voices came suddenly out in the corridor, and he tensed: was this it? Were the police going to take him to jail? Would he have a chance to see his mom and sister again?

The door slid open, revealing one of the other turian teachers and...

"Dad!" Kaidan bolted upright on his feet, but stayed put at the look on the older man's face.

"Gather your things, son. We're leaving."

Kaidan swallowed hard at the tone in his father's voice. Not good. He fumbled around, stuffing his few shirts and pants in a duffel, grabbing his omni-tool from the desk and sliding it in his pocket. In a few minutes, he was ready.

"Dad, what's—are we..." he trailed off as his voice cracked in an unmanly display of fear.

"There's going to be an investigation, Kaidan," his father said in a measured tone, keeping a hand on his shoulder as if afraid he would run off. "We're going home until this... incident blows over."

Kaidan bit down on the inside of his cheek. He'd ruined everything; the expensive surgery, the trip to this station-all for nothing.

His father stopped unexpectedly and Kaidan looked up, curious. A few students were standing in the middle of the corridor, chatting. The voices died as Kaidan met their uncomfortable gazes.

"Rahna!" Kaidan stepped forward, barely held in check by his father's firm hand. "Are you okay? No one came to tell me what's going on—"

Rahna's bottom lip trembled and she shook her head, her curtain of dark hair swinging madly. "I... I don't want to talk to you anymore, Kaidan."

Kaidan felt like he'd been socked in the gut. The girl turned her head away, and he and his father passed through the gauntlet of students—people who'd he'd called his friends.

"This is the price you pay for loss of control, son." His father squeezed his shoulder gently and guided him toward the airlock.


	26. Prompt: Aches and pains

**Prompt: Aches and pains  
**

* * *

She clearly remembers getting shot for the first time: the blinding pain, the gushing blood, and the white noise that filled her head until her squad's medic slapped quick-acting anesthetic on the wound. It was the first of many injuries.

She's also been stabbed, burned, smashed by a charging krogan, and on several occasions, biotically slammed into the ground. Her bones have been broken, her organs have been boiled by vacuum, and when she was a kid, her brother once pulled a fistful of hair from her head.

But those aches and pains pale in comparison to _this_...

"Hey, how're you doing?"

She opens her eyes to meet his brown ones, crinkling at the corners. She manages a weak smile for him, though she feels more like groaning and throwing up.

"I've had shotgun wounds that didn't hurt this much."

He chuckles. "I'll ask the nurse to adjust your pain meds, but I figured you'd want to be awake for this first." He leans over and carefully deposits a small wrapped bundle into her arms.

She touches the tiny nose, counts all ten fingers and all ten toes, pushes back the blanket to reveal a tuft of dark hair - far more than a newborn should have - and she laughs. "He has your hair."

He leans down, resting his forehead against hers, and the pain fades to memory.


	27. Prompt: Merchandising

**Prompt: Merchandising**

* * *

"So," Kasumi sidled up to Joker at his usual place at the helm, "Shepard and this Commander Alenko guy, hm?"

"Not my business, space ninja." He looked quickly in his mirrors to see that Shepard wasn't loitering around within earshot like she enjoyed doing.

"Oh come on, Joker, don't tell me it doesn't appeal to you," she said in a teasing voice, that full lower lip of hers turning up in a grin. "A forbidden romance between commanding officer and her lieutenant, only to be separated by death. Yet, death was only the beginning of their journey to true love..."

Joker made a face. "I have a strict policy of ignoring what goes on right under my nose, thank you."

She leaned over his chair, fingers light on his arm. "You are missing the point: _merchandising_. This story has all the good parts. I'm thinking a book, a screenplay... _action figures_..."

Joker slanted a glance at her. "Would there be a scale _Normandy_?"

Kasumi grinned. "With a bearded pilot at her helm? Naturally."

Joker turned his chair around. "I'm listening."


	28. Prompt: Shepard's bed is broken

A/N: Takes place a hypothetical post-ME3 scenario, no spoilers. I also may have been inspired by West Wing. :D**  
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**Prompt: Shepard's bed is broken  
**

* * *

"Shepard?"

Kaidan and Shepard looked up from their meal in the restaurant. They'd requested a private booth, but that didn't apply to David Anderson, it seemed.

"Anderson, good to see you away from the press and the brass. What do you need?" Kaidan said easily.

Anderson shifted, clearing his throat, and slid a datapad onto the table. "The press has... a few photos."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "You'll have to be more specific."

Anderson touched the display, bringing up a picture of a standard hotel room, except the bed was in shambles-sheets and pillows everywhere-and the whole thing was leaning drunkenly on the floor.

"What is this?" Kaidan tilted his head to look at the image.

Anderson cast him a displeased look and tapped the display again, hiding the picture. "This is a photo from a room in a hotel on the Citadel." He paused. "That _both_ of you signed for."

"Oh."

"The press," Anderson continued, "is calling this the aftermath of 'Hurricane Shenko: The Victory Celebration'."

Shepard choked on her drink.

Kaidan blinked. "What's a 'Shenko'?"

Anderson rubbed a hand down his face. "I've done what damage control I could, but if you want to prepare a statement...?"

Shepard innocently took a bite from her plate. "I'll say: 'There's no way that bed was up to standard code.'"


	29. Prompt: One more time with feeling

**Prompt: One more time with feeling - slightly NSFW  
**

* * *

Kaidan glanced over at Shepard. She wiped away a sweat-slicked lock of hair from her brow.

"That was..." he paused.

"Too quick and unsatisfying," Shepard said, laughing at the look on his face.

Kaidan smirked and hooked his leg over hers. "Alright then," he said, lowering his mouth to kiss her neck in a lingering exploration. "One more time, with feeling."

Shepard threaded her fingers through his hair. "Now we're talking."


	30. Prompt: Heartbeat

******Prompt:**** Heartbeat**  


* * *

_He should be here for this,_ Shepard thought as she eased herself onto the examining table.

The asari doctor kept up a steady stream of nonsense babble that she only half listened to. Shepard leaned back and the doctor came over with the equipment.

"Up with the shirt, Commander! It's easier to get messed up readings with fabric in the way."

Shepard glanced at the door, which didn't open, and sighed. "Okay." She pulled up her sweater, exposing her stomach which was just beginning to show the slightest of bulges. Anyone who didn't know her might have just thought she'd put on some weight.

The asari doctor hummed as she slid the reader over the edge of the examining table, adjusting it so its curved surface rolled smoothly up and down Shepard's abdomen.

"It might take a few seconds..." the asari doctor watched her screen intently, tapping commands to adjust the machine. "My, my, your baby's a squirrely one! Hold still for the camera, little one!" she cooed.

The door burst open. Kaidan looked around, wild-eyed for a moment, until seeing Shepard and visibly relaxed. She reached out to him with a smile.

"Just on time," she murmured. He smiled and squeezed her hand.

"Ah!" The doctor said, making a satisfied noise. "There we are." She fiddled with a knob and they all heard it, a rapid-fire _swish, swish, swish, swish._

"A strong and healthy heartbeat," the doctor said with a smile. "That's what I like to hear."

Kaidan leaned down and kissed the top of Shepard's head.

"Hang on," the doctor said, frowning, "something's... weird."

"Weird?" Shepard's hand gripped Kaidan's. "What is it?"

The doctor looked up, a slow smile spreading across her purple lips. "According to the readings, what we're hearing is actually two heartbeats."

Kaidan's eyes widened and his jaw went slack. "Two?"


	31. Prompt: It all lead me here to this

******Prompt:**** It all lead me here to this**  


* * *

"And then this guy removes his helmet, and it's Garrus!" Shepard laughed, pushing a strand of hair from her eyes. "You could have knocked me over with a feather."

Kaidan chuckled, looking at her across the table. They were in a private booth at a restaurant on the Citadel—their first "date" after... well, after everything. Technically, it was their first date ever since Illos was more of a "we might die tomorrow" kind of night and there was all that... unpleasant in-between stuff that had gotten in the way.

He fiddled with the stem of his glass. Shepard's voice trailed off.

"I'm trying too hard, aren't I?" she said, trying to smile.

Kaidan looked up. "What?"

Shepard sighed. "You're not all here, Alenko. Are you sure you want this?" He sucked in a breath at the vulnerability in her gaze.

"Shepard," he reached across to hold her hands, "the only reason I seem out of it tonight is..." He blew out a breath. "You know me, I always leave myself an out, right?"

She nodded, face wary.

"Everything we've been through - not just Illos, but the minute you walked onto the _Normandy_ and I fumbled my salute like some raw recruit—"

Shepard grinned. "You were awfully cute."

"Everything since then—the good, the bad—it all lead me here to this. I... I don't want to give myself an out this time." He squeezed her hands. "I'm putting it all out on table." Inhaling sharply, he pulled a box out of his pocket. "Will you marry me?"

Shepard's face went very still. "You're sure about this, Kaidan?"

His heart thudded in his chest, but he answered without hesitation. "More than anything."

She slipped out of her chair and onto his lap, capturing his lips with hers. "In that case," she murmured against his mouth, "the answer is yes."


	32. Prompt: Piggyback

******Prompt:**** Piggyback**  


* * *

Shepard and Alenko had left Flux hours before, but Ashley and Joker had remained, laughing and talking and trading drinks until they couldn't remember whose was whose.

Finally, after Ashley finished a shot of whisky and Joker tossed down the rest of what he thought might be a cosmo, they decided to call it quits. Joker slid off his bar stool with a wince, his legs trembling as they hit the floor.

"Damn," he muttered.

"You're not going to puke, are you?" Ashley laughed, tendrils of hair falling across her face. "Cause that'd mean I'd win our bet."

"No, it's my meds," Joker grunted, gripping the stool for support. "Alcohol sometimes makes them... wonky."

Ashley sobered a little, squinting at him. "You didn't have to stand stag with me. I like laughing at the Commander and the El-Tee doing their little regs dance around each other."

Joker scowled. "I wanted a night out, okay? I mean, come on, who really expects to get hit with side effects. No one pays attention to those." He took a step away from the stool and stumbled. Ashley caught his arm.

"Alright marine," she said, patting the bar stool. "This calls for evasive maneuvers!"

The next thing he knew, he was draped over her shoulders, legs wrapped around her waist and she was laughing and dodging through the late night crowds in the wards. Drunk though she might be, Ashley's grip on his was secure and though he jiggled a little more than he would have liked, he couldn't help but laugh with her.

When they got back to the Normandy, she deposited him - at his request - in the pilot's chair. They got a little tangled up, Ashley giggling, sitting on the chair between his legs as she tried to stand without kicking his shins.

"Hey," he said, as she started to stand. She turned to look at him, then leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth.

It was quick; too quick.

"Sorry," she said, pulling away and standing up completely. "Drunken kiss. I'm going to regret that tomorrow." She smiled and stumbled away.

Joker sat in his chair, not a little shell-shocked, and remembered the taste of her warm lips. "I won't."


	33. Prompt: Earth

A/N: Very mild opening ME3 spoilers (nothing new if you've played Arrival)******  
**

******Prompt:**** Earth**  


* * *

Shepard had seen Earth from orbit more times then she could count, but it somehow never got old.

A familiar presence walked up beside her, sharing her silent vigil at the port side observation deck

"So, this is Earth."

"Yes. I was born there."

"It is... beautiful, siha."

Shepard nodded. Thane reached out to gently touch her cheek.

"Are you anxious?

She managed a quick smile. "I could lie, but you always see through those." She looked back through the viewport. "I just wish I could have come back home under different circumstances." Allowing herself to lean into his touch - just this once when they were alone - she sighed, listening to the rumble of whatever internal process that gave Thane's voice its unique resonance. "I guess you really can't go home again."

"Siha?"

"Nothing, just an old Earth phrase. It's about how whenever you go back to someplace you loved, it's never really the same as it was in your memories."

Thane's hands squeezed her gently. "Perhaps we shall have to make new memories together."

Shepard pulled back with a wry grin. "You mean _after _I've been convicted and sentenced?"

"Convicted and sentenced are not the same as... imprisoned." His voice took on a slight edge. Shepard frowned, about to ask about this apparent treasonous plot forming in her lover's mind, but he stilled her question with a finger to her lips.

"Not now, siha. Let us enjoy this time while we can."

Shepard nodded, head leaning on Thane's shoulder and together they watched Earth spin lazily below them, silent, serene, and untroubled.


	34. Prompt: Covered in bees!

******Prompt:** Covered in bees!  


* * *

Shepard exited the elevator, intent on the datapad in her hand, and rounded the corner to the mess.

"...covered in bees!" Zaeed's gravelly voice rang out. "Of course, then there was no choice but to shoot him, even with the bounty on him. A man don't survive something like that and live to tell the tale. It was mercy."

"But you're here," Tali's voice piped up.

"I ain't finished, ya daft girlie! As I was sayin', both me and this fellow were covered in bees - Zorondian bees, bigger than my head. So the merc and I ready ourselves to shoot each other - only, my trigger finger's a little too happy, right? My shot goes off, hits him square between the eyes. BANG!" He slapped the table, jostling coffee cups and datapads. "He's as dead as you can get." Zaeed picked up a nearby mug and slurped loudly from it.

"And? How did you escape the bees?" Tali pressed.

"Damndest thing," Zaeed grinned. "Turns out Zoronidan bees hate loud noises. The gun going off scared the lot of them away. I was almost out of my head with their stings - makes ya hallucinate. Thought I was Princess Pony and finally came around halfway to Tuchanka in a storage crate 3 days later."


	35. Prompt: Holy water

******Prompt:** Holy Water  


* * *

The church was small for Amaterasu - well, small for the city of New Aichi. Ashley hadn't been there since she left for her first posting - good grief, was it that many years ago?

She shook off the thought and cradled the bundle in her arms a little more securely. It wasn't the right time to be thinking about how small the church was... Beside her Joker shifted. She bit back a smile, knowing he was trying to stay focused for her sake.

The priest nodded, and she dipped her son's head closer to the font. Father Mikael dipped his hand in the water, bringing his cupped hand to her son's head.

"In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, I christen thee Cohen Isaac Moreau."

Little Cohen squirmed at the water, fretting a little. Joker took him from her arms, murmuring something under his breath.

As they descended from the platform, Joker grinned crookedly up at her. "I hope you know that splashing around in holy water was all for you, Doll."

She kissed his bearded cheek. "And I appreciate it, flyboy."

* * *

_A/N: Sorry for any inaccuracies. I'm not Catholic; my own baptism was much more informal (and I wasn't a baby :D)._


	36. Prompt: I'm over getting older

******Prompt:** I'm over getting older  


* * *

"A low-sodium diet?" Kaidan huffed as he and Shepard left the doctor's office. "That's for old people."

Shepard chuckled and ran her fingers lightly over his hair, nearly all salt-and-pepper gray by now. "Well, you are hitting your 60s, love."

He harrumphed again, tucking her hand in the crook of his arm. "Sixty is the new thirty. Both of us still have at least half a century left. No sense in rushing things... making me feel like I can't eat anything." He glanced longingly at a food kiosk they passed, tempting smells of salty fried something or other drifting out.

"Well, Admiral Alenko, now that you're _old_, perhaps you should finally consider retirement?" Shepard teased, squeezing the still firm muscle of his bicep.

"I'm over getting older," he grumbled. Shepard chuckled and they walked in companionable silence for a moment.

Kaidan eyed her sidelong. "Speaking of retirement... that call from the Councilor yesterday... you aren't thinking of coming back out of Spectre retirement are you?"

Shepard appeared not to hear, stepping up to look at an advertisement. "Look, this store has that amp Liara was gushing about - a Kednar Galaxy Series 5! Think of what the kids will say if you tell them you upgraded your amp to the latest and greatest-"

"Shepard."

She made a face at him. "Fine. But I'm not coming out of retirement - well, not really. It's just a consult, honest! Some new turian kid found out that Garrus and I were old pals and pulled some strings - wants me to give some intel and probably a few pointers on dealing with humans."

Kaidan laughed, pressing a kiss into Shepard's silvering hair. "Guess I'm not the only one who's over getting older."

She grinned, sliding her arm down to thread her fingers with his. "As you said, no sense in rushing things. We can act like old people later."


	37. Prompt: Watching as the minutes pass

_A/N: More domestic Shenko fluff. I can't help myself; it's addicting!_******  
**

******Prompt:** watching the minutes pass by  


* * *

The sniffles and whimpering had not abated from the hallway since they'd sat Ashlyn Shepard Alenko down on the "time out" chair. Opposite the hallway in the kitchen, Kaidan rubbed a hand over his brow. He glanced at the timer, counting down from ten minutes, and sat down at the table where Shepard sat calmly nursing a cup of coffee and perusing a datapad.

"They didn't cover this in basic," he sighed.

Shepard rubbed her thumb over his fingers. "Sorry. I should have briefed you at the first ultrasound."

He laughed, sneaking a sip of her coffee, and sobered. "This... behavior of hers is beginning to be a problem. It's no longer just once in awhile thing."

Shepard sat down the datapad, looking pensive. "I know."

An uncomfortable silence fell across the table. Years before, when they'd decided to have kids, they'd both agreed that if it became too much, one of them would leave the Alliance - retiring from Spectre duty - and be a full-time parent. At the time neither had wanted to have the inevitable confrontation on who that would be, fearing the resentment it might cause in whichever of them had to remain home.

Kaidan took a breath. "I'll submit-" He stopped as she tightened her grip on his hand.

"I'm sending my resignation tomorrow."

"What?" He drew back in protest. "No! They won't accept it, Shepard. The first human Spectre? It should be me..."

Shepard smiled. "It's okay, Kaidan. Maybe five years ago I would have fought you over this... but now?" She glanced around the room, at the few holos of the rare times they'd all been together as a family. Too few. She lifted her hand, tracing a finger down his jaw. "I once told Grunt of all people that I didn't want to chase and kill bad guys forever. Now, someone needs me more than the bad guys and I don't mind." She leaned forward and kissed him gently.

"Are you sure?" Kaidan searched her eyes, looking for the telltale blink - the ever-so subtle tensing around her mouth that revealed her unwillingness to do something. But she was calm, even smiling.

"I am."

"Well," he chuckled. "Udina will be so happy he might throw you a party."

Shepard smiled, something sparkling in her eyes and climbed over to straddle Kaidan's lap. "Udina'll have to wait. Now that I'm retired, I have time for more children."

"Oh?"

"Mmhmm."

Things were just getting interesting when a plaintive voice came from the hallway.

"Mooooom, I heard the timer. Can I get up yet?"


	38. Prompt: Something to believe in

**Prompt: Something to believe in  
**

* * *

"You're lying."

Miranda looked up briefly from her screen, noting Shepard's presence in her doorway, the tight look of her face, her ramrod straight back - all cues Miranda had noticed from viewing classified vids of Shepard in her first command on the _Ypres_. The Commander was angry.

Miranda looked back at her screen and kept typing. Reports didn't finish themselves, after all.

"I lie about many things, Shepard. You'll have to be more specific."

Shepard walked forward, looming over Miranda's desk - another classic Shepard pose used on unruly ensigns and krogan alike. Miranda kept typing.

"It doesn't add up. Cerberus could have spent half of what they spent on the Lazarus project and came up with a dozen super soldiers with enough illegal implants and gene mods to keep Mordin happy for decades. Yet you pick me, a nobody from nowhere, and expect miracles? I don't buy it, Lawson. If Cerberus is as interested in defeating the Collectors and the Reapers as they say, it makes no sense to focus on me."

Miranda stopped typing and looked up at Shepard. "Are you finished?"

Shepard leaned back a bit, eyes narrowing. "No, but it'll stand for now."

The Cerberus operative folded her hands together in front of her. "Simply speaking, Shepard, humanity - the galaxy - needs a face to the countless number of people who will undoubtedly play a huge role in saving the galaxy from the Reapers. Humans don't identify well with groups - they want an individual, a person; something - or someone, rather - to believe in. That's you."

Shepard blinked, digesting this. "You... spent billions of credits... on a poster-child? A figure-head?" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "We're all doomed then."

"A figure head with real authority and power, Shepard." Miranda insisted. "You are one of the rare humans to have unpolitical ties to nearly every species and, though you may think otherwise about Cerberus, we understand that humanity will not survive the Reaper invasion without the rest of the galaxy's help. You are the fulcrum, Shepard. Survival hinges on you." Miranda let that sink in and turned back to her keyboard. A moment later, the door to her quarters hissed open and shut. Finally, some peace and quiet.


	39. Prompt: Take me, sir

**Prompt: Take me, sir. Take me hard.  
**

* * *

"So that's it, huh?" Ashley Williams scowled at Joker as he hobbled toward her. "You think you can swoop in with some fancy flying, rescue us with your... your terrorist ship and your terrorist gene mods and I'm supposed to just forget everything? How you just left me-us, the Alliance?" Her face began to get red as she warmed to her topic. "I'm supposed to run into your arms like some asari floozy, 'take me, _sir_; take me hard'?" She stood up as Joker got close enough to reach, her eyes watery. "Well it's not going to happen."

Joker reached out, knowing that he was not likely to emerge from this without broken bones, and cupped the side of her face. The fight didn't go out of her eyes, but at least she wasn't hitting him yet. He ran his thumb along her cheekbone.

"I missed you, Ash."

Her arms folded around his shoulders, her fingers fisting into his BDUs. He rubbed soothing circles on her back, already feeling the bruises she was going to leave on him, but not caring.

"I missed you, too."


	40. Prompt: Investigating Feet

**Prompt: Investigating feet**

* * *

Kaidan woke up in the middle of the night and didn't know where he was. Fearing the always painful meet-up of face versus pod cover, he stretched out exploratory feet, finding more room than he realized. Through the grogginess of sleep, he realized he wasn't upright in a pod, but in a bed. _Where...?_

His investigating feet came in contact with something solid. And warm.

Beside him, a female throat murmured his name and a hand slid across his chest.

_Oh. Shepard's bed. Right._

The night before came rushing back. The flight from Earth, the debriefing and introducing him to the crew, the running here and there around the ship, and finally_—finally_—a moment of utter stillness in the elevator with just the two of them. Then their mouths meeting, hands grabbing, holding, fumbling with clothes, Shepard's breathless voice asking the AI to send the elevator to her cabin, and—

Kaidan hastily tamped down that line of thought and pulled his feet away from Shepard's.

He'd think about it again when it wasn't 0300 hours.


	41. Prompt: Mmm Juicy

**Prompt: Mmm. Juicy.  
**

* * *

He put the plate in front of her with an air of ceremony.

Shepard looked up at him, eyebrow cocked. "Is this it?"

"This is it." Kaidan nodded. "Genuine 100-percent Yukon Territory beef. Dad ordered some special for the picnic. They still range cattle there, you know. None of that vat-grown stuff." A shudder crossed his face as he sat down opposite her.

Shepard eyed the—what had he called it?—_hamburger _as if it were a krogan deciding whether it would be worth the trouble to try to fight her.

She sighed. "I happen to like the vat-grown stuff, you know. Cook on Mom's ship ordered some special on my tenth birthday."

Kaidan shook his head and flicked his finger at the plate. "Nuh uh. You forget about that. You haven't eaten _real_ beef until you've tried this."

"Alright, but you'd better keep that trashcan handy," she warned. "Commander Shepard does not puke on the ground in front of potential in-laws."

Kaidan's eyes twinkled at the phrase, but he didn't rise to the bait.

Shepard slipped her fingers under the bun, lifting the hamburger to her face. She'd head-butted krogan; scolded a freaking Reaper to it's multi-eyed "face": she could certainly handle Earth-grown food. Mouth wide, she sank her teeth in.

Kaidan watched her, still smiling. "Well?"

Shepard chewed, trying to keep her best Skyllian Blitz face on. "It's... mmm, juicy?" As if to accent her point, some grease ran down her chin.

Kaidan laughed outright.

"Fine," she said, sticking her tongue out at him. "It's ... _okay_ I guess."

"And the fact that you're cramming more of it in your mouth means nothing, I suppose."

"Nope," she said thickly through another bite. "Pass that red stuff—whaddya call it? Catch-up."

"Ketchup."

"Tha's what I said."


	42. Prompt: I'll find someone like you

**Prompt: I'll find someone like you  
**

* * *

Kaidan tapped his heel against the floor. Beside him, his buddy Li and his longtime girlfriend chatted to fill the silence.

_I shouldn't be here_, Kaidan thought, glancing around the restaurant, noting the exits. _It's too soon. I'm not ready. _

Li clamped a hand on his shoulder, startling him. "No retreating, marine. Claire's awesome—I know you'll like her."

Kaidan ran a hand over his face. "Li, I know you mean well—"

The hand on his shoulder tightened then left. "Kaidan, this isn't healthy. You _have_ to move on. It's been—what—two years since Shepard died?"

Kaidan's throat closed up a moment and he swallowed hard against the ever-present ache. "One year, six months, seven days," he corrected.

Li arched an eyebrow. "Would Shepard want you to be living like this?"

"Like what?" Kaidan countered, only hearing the defensive tone after the words left his mouth.

His friend shook his head. "Working 10 to 12 hour days; taking missions that even Spectres would hesitate over; risking your life and your health? I know you're on a career track, but this isn't you, Kaidan."

Kaidan looked away, and allowed himself to think of her. Shepard, _his _Shepard; how her eyes lit up at the sight of him, the scar on her lip scrunching up when she smiled, the way her hair fanned out against the pillow—He shut his eyes, swallowing again.

"If..." his voice roughened and he cleared his throat. "If I'm perfectly honest... no," he said quietly. "She wouldn't want me living like this."

"Then give Claire a chance, that's all I ask."

Kaidan nodded. He'd give her a chance and maybe... just maybe, she'd remind him enough of Shepard that his heart would be fooled, if only for awhile, and stop hurting so much.


	43. Prompt: Yes, no, maybe

_A/N: So, unexpectedly, this drabble turned out to be related to the first Shenko story I ever wrote called Comfort Food (available on my profile page). You don't need to read it to understand this one, but the last few lines will make more sense._

**Prompt: Yes, no,... maybe**

* * *

Kaidan awoke to the horrible sound of someone choking.

"Lights!" he croaked, fumbling with the bedsheets as the cabin lights came on, dimly, thank goodness, allowing his eyes to see what was going on without blinding him. Shepard was convulsing, eyes wide, mouth in a grimace. The sound she made as she tried to breathe was similar to the sound an asthmatic made when having an attack. Like someone trying to breathe through a clogged straw.

"Shepard! Calm down, I've got you—" He scrambled, trying to get her up so he could perform the Heimlich maneuver, but she shoved his hands away.

"Not... choking," she gasped, coughing. She sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and leaning over, head in her hands. The terrible sound faded until the only sound in the cabin was Shepard's deep, even breaths.

Kaidan felt his panic subside and he slid off his side of the bed. Padding across the floor to the bathroom, he filled a glass of water and came back to press it into her hands. She took it as he sat down beside her, sipping and trying to disguise the motion of swiping her hand across her cheek.

"Was it a nightmare?" he asked after a moment. He knew that she suffered from nightmares after the Prothean beacon... but that seemed different somehow.

Shepard cleared her throat, sipping from the glass again. "Yes, no... maybe."

Kaidan rubbed his hand across her back. She leaned back into his touch a little, looking up at the skylight above the bed. Kaidan followed her gaze. It showed, as always when they were not planetside, a clear view of star-filled space.

"I dreamed about Alchera," she said finally in a soft voice. "I was floating toward the planet with my O2 line spraying oxygen everywhere. I dreamed about... dying."

Kaidan felt a chill and his hand paused. "Does that happen often?"

Shepard fiddled with the glass. "Once a week, depending." She sipped her water. "I nearly sent Dr. Chakwas into shock the first time it happened. EDI almost woke everyone on board." She shrugged. "Turns out I wake myself up, I start breathing normally, and it's okay." She hugged her arms around her midsection. "At least, that's what I tell myself."

Kaidan continued rubbing his hand along her back. "Do you want to go back to sleep?"

She cast him a look. "You aren't going to scold me?"

"I'm not Dr. Chakwas."

She smiled. "Thank goodness for that."

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Come on," he said, standing and tugging her to her feet. "I was going to save them for a special occasion, but a time like this calls for comfort food." He opened the drawer where he'd stashed his things and withdrew...

Shepard laughed. "Graham crackers and peanut butter?"

Kaidan grinned. "And there's real milk in the mess too."

Shepard wrapped her arms around him, kissing the corner of his mouth, resting her forehead against his jaw. "Thank you."


	44. Prompt: Hair gel and baby oil

**Prompt: Hair gel and baby oil  
**

* * *

"So how long are you going to be on Arcturus?" Joker asked as Kaidan eased into the chair at the table in the deli. He dropped his bag beside his feet with a sigh.

"Couple of days, tops," Kaidan replied, glancing at the menu. "My parents are expecting us by the end of the week, and Shepard wants to be punctual. Soon as we finish our report to Hackett in person, we're gone."

Joker raised an eyebrow. "First time home with the baby?"

Kaidan nodded, tapping his selection on the menu. It blinked in acknowledgement and he sat back. "Shepard's trying to get him to sleep right now since I had no luck. Told her I'd bring back lunch." He grimaced. "Sorry I can't stay long."

Joker waved it off. "S'okay. I'm on my way out of here too. Can't stand to be groundside for long; makes my feet itch." He scratched at his beard, a smile forming on his face. "Sounds like you're regular little homemaker these days."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow. "I can still out shoot you." He considered. "Or kill you with my brain."

Joker snorted, waving for a refill of his drink.

Kaidan smirked and leaned back, shifting his feet as he did so. His bag fell over, pouring out an assortment of... less-than-manly items. He bent over to put them back in, but Joker was quicker. He grabbed a handful of items and started laughing.

"Diapers? Man, you _are_ whipped."

Kaidan rolled his eyes. "You have to trade a few things when you have a kid, Joker."

"Yeah, like your man card?"

"It's a diaper, not lipstick."

Joker held up two of the items. "This is hair gel and baby oil. Tell me these are for Shepard and the baby _only_."

Kaidan opened his mouth and then shut it.

Joker howled with laughter.

Kaidan grabbed the gel and oil and stuffed them back into his pack. "My hair sticks up straight if I don't use gel. And the baby oil... makes my skin soft when I'm shaving, okay?" he grumbled.


	45. Prompt: Shotgun

**Prompt: Shotgun  
**

* * *

The shotgun was heavy in her hands. She held it, awkwardly, not knowing where to hold it that wouldn't set it off accidentally or something. That's all she needed, to accidentally shoot her foot off. She could see the headline now: _Mindoir Teen Shoots off Foot Without Touching the Trigger!_

Her father laughed. "Hold it here," he moved her hands, "and here." Matthew Shepard grinned down at her, beaming with pride. "There's no need to be afraid of guns, kiddo. Have a healthy respect for them, yes, but don't be afraid."

"But Dad," Andie Shepard protested, wrinkling her nose. "The fences keep out all the predators. Why do I need to learn to shoot?"

Her father shrugged. "It's a useful skill. Besides, electricity can fail. Feral yeks are smart; they'll find a way to get to herds if they're desperate enough." He put a comforting hand on her skinny fifteen-year-old shoulder. "It's just a skill, sweet pea. With any luck it'll just be something you can impress the boys with and you'll never have to use it."


	46. Prompt: Shadow broker dossier

**Prompt: Shadow Broker dossier on your Shepard  
**

* * *

Andrea Laine Shepard

Born 2154 in Denver, Colorado, Earth. Youth spent on human colony of Mindoir. Joined Systems Alliance Military in 2172, serial number 5923-AC-2826. Completed N7 specialist training at Arcturus Station 2180. Refused to cooperate in Kahoku affair 2185. Considered dangerous to Broker operatives. Approach with caution.

**Family:**

Father: Matthew Shepard (deceased)  
Mother: Joanna Shepard (deceased)  
Siblings: Erik, Gabriella, Isaac (deceased)  
Aunt: Esther Shepard, Systems Alliance

**Recent Extranet activity:**

SEARCH: kaidan alenko/ERASED

SEARCH: cybernetics/MODIFIED/spy cameras cybernetics

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**Personal Correspondence**  
Pulled from Inbox:

Dear Commander Shepard,

I know you don't know me, but served with my big sister, Chief Gunnery Officer Ashley Williams, aboard the SR-1 Normandy.

I just wanted to thank you for money you left us in your will. I don't think I've ever seen my mom speechless before until that Alliance officer came to our house to transfer the credits. I've been able to go to a really good school because if it, so... yeah. Thanks.

Sarah Williams

P.S. (Sorry that was so lame.)

/

Draft pulled from private drive.

Kaidan,

I wish you were here.


	47. Prompt: Personal Jesus

**Prompt: Personal Jesus  
**

* * *

Kaidan popped the seal release on his armor with a hissing sound as the mechanized pieces relaxed enough for him to remove it. Beside him, Shepard and Garrus were doing the same. He was still getting used to the turian, as was most of the crew. It had been easy to spot the suspicious looks cast in Garrus's direction as the Commander had introduced him a couple of days ago. Kaidan had tried his best to squelch any of his own unease and treat the alien with the easy camaraderie that Shepard had already used.

Shepard made a sound of disgust as she stripped to her underarmor and checked out a spot of gunk cemented to the armor's vambraces. With quick, efficient motions she placed the armor in the locker and set it to the highest cleaning cycle. Next, she pulled the grey mesh underarmor shirt off over her head, exposing a black N7 tank top damp with sweat. Something hit the ground with an audible clink.

Kaidan glanced down and bent to retrieve a crucifix on a chain. Curious, he turned it over. On the horizontal cross beam was etched a single word: _Mindoir_.

He swallowed.

"Commander, I think you dropped something."

She looked up curiously, scrubbing her hair back into a messy ponytail, and her eyes widened, fingers going to the dip of her collarbone.

"Thank you," she said, taking the cross back, rubbing her thumb over the worn silver before placing it back around her neck.

"I, uh, didn't know you were a believer, ma'am," he said, removing his leg pieces.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Lieutenant," Shepard said, her tone curt.

Kaidan cleared his throat. _Drop it, Alenko,_ he told himself.

"I didn't mean to pry, ma'am. No disrespect meant."

Shepard sighed. "Sorry, Alenko. I shouldn't have shut you down." She shrugged. "You learn to keep religion to yourself in the military; especially after what happened to my family. Most of the time people are outraged that I can still believe after what I've been through, as if it was their decision, not mine." She moved from the lockers to the gun bench, stripping down her sidearm with smooth, practiced motions. "It's..." she hesitated, "personal." Her fingers paused.

Kaidan didn't reply for a moment. He'd thought he'd seen an answering... _something_ in her eyes at the Citadel when he'd made that horribly awkward statement about _love_ and _her_, but he'd been too busy looking for the nearest airlock to consider it more deeply. But this... this offering of knowledge, of something personal to her... it was like the difference between seeing a holo of Commander Shepard and seeing her in person. A more complete picture.

He found himself wanting more.

Clearing his throat, Kaidan set the last of his armor in the locker and set it on a cleaning cycle. "Maybe we can talk more later, ma'am? Off duty?"

A smile curved the edge of her lips. "I'd like that, Lieutenant."


	48. Prompt: Where'd you get that?

**Prompt:**** Where'd you get that? - Slightly NSFW  
**

* * *

Shepard was unquestionably alive. Kaidan smiled in sheer joy as she ran her fingers through his hair, hips rising to meet his.

"I still remember them," he murmured.

"Hmm?"

"Your scars. I used to think about them after Alchera—about the stories they represented." He pulled back slightly, smiling with mischief. "Want to quiz me on them?" Without waiting for an answer, he let his fingers lift the hem of her shirt, searching for the scar he'd found that night before Ilos. It was long and shiny, a relic of a burn from farm equipment when she was a kid. He'd memorized its shape, it's position in relation to her belly button and—Kaidan frowned. Where was it? He pulled away to look at her exposed skin and saw... nothing. her stomach was smooth and unblemished.

"What the...?"

Shepard pulled him back down, capturing his lips with hers. "Most of my skin was... unsalvageable," she said. "They had to clone it using what was left and skin grafts did the rest."

Kaidan felt a pang of regret that quickly disappeared as she tugged off her shirt and pointed to a scar on her collarbone that he didn't remember.

"Where'd you get that?" He traced his finger along the scar, smiling at her shiver.

"Grunt. When I first opened his tank he attacked me; pinned me against the bulkhead." Shepard kissed him again, distracting him.

"Well," he said, tugging his own shirt off, "Guess I'll need to find and memorize the new ones."

"Good plan."


	49. Prompt: Honey I'm home

**Prompt:**** Honey I'm home  
**

* * *

Ashley slumped into the co-pilot's chair.

Joker resisted the urge to look over at her, pretending to concentrate on his controls. Not that he needed to really. Space walks for Prothean data caches were becoming more than boring by now.

"So, Joker," Ashley said, tucking up one leg onto the chair and resting her arm on her knee, "Where's home for you?"

"Honey, you're looking at it."

She bristled at the nickname, as he knew she would, and he grinned under his hat. Would she rise to the bait and challenge a ranking officer?

"What do you mean?" she asked after a moment, apparently deciding to let it slide.

"If you meant to ask where I was born, sweet cheeks, that was Arcturus, but it wasn't home." Not by a long shot. Mom was there, but she was always fussing over him—the other Academy students and instructors always doubting him. No; that space station would never be home. "This ship," he said, rubbing a hand fondly over the arm of his pilot's chair, "is home."

She didn't reply so he looked up at her to find a huge grin pasted on her face. Her leg was still tucked up beside her, and he found himself wondering if she was always that flexible... _Woah, lock that down, Moreau. NCOs are off limits._

"What?" he snapped, feeling grumpy all of a sudden.

"You," she replied, still grinning. "You _are_ a romantic underneath all that cynicism. Makes me wonder what else you're hiding."

Joker swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. "You don't even want to know, doll." He managed to say that last with his usual air of indifference.

Ashley stood up, stretching briefly, her toned arms strong in the dim light of the cockpit. "All right," she said, raising an eyebrow. "I accept your challenge."

Her boots were thumping away into the distance before he realized what she said.

This was a very bad idea, but somehow he couldn't keep the smile off his face.


	50. Prompt: Say it's true

**Prompt:**** Say it's true  
**

* * *

"Please say it's true."

Shepard looked up from the datapad he was reading at the mess. It was late and the _Normandy_ - empty of all crew - was eerily silent. Tali stood opposite him behind the other chair across the table. She was twisting her hands together.

"Say what's true?" Shepard asked.

"About... about you and Chief Williams," she blurted out. "Because I could understand then, why... why you and I... why you didn't want..." She fumbled her words, purple-tinted helmet facing turning away as if to hide her expression though her face shield was as opaque as it ever was. "If you still loved her it would explain... things."

Shepard set the datapad down. He didn't ask how she'd found out about Ashley.

"Tali, have I ever told you that I had a twin sister?"

Tali shook her head slowly. "You... you don't talk about your family much."

"At all," he corrected. "She died, along with the rest of my family, during a batarian slave raid on Mindoir when I was a teenager. Her name was Teresa." He paused. "I'm telling you this because when I met you, Tali, for the first time since she died, I felt like I had a sister again. I know that's not the kind of relationship you want from me, but it's all I can offer and to be honest, as we head to the Collector base, I'd like to be with family."

He picked up his datapad, and pretended to read, letting her leave if she wanted to without any recriminations. After a moment, however, the chair opposite him slid out and she settled into it.

A three-fingered hand pressed a well-worn deck of cards between them.

He raised an eyebrow.

"If we're going to be family, John'Shepard vas Normandy, you're going to learn what quarians do while waiting."

Shepard grinned and shut down his datapad. "Lose all my money?"

"Not all," Tali protested, dealing out the cards. "Just most."


	51. Prompt: ME2 romance meeting VS

**A/N: This is a different Shepard than the one I normally ship Kaidan with - the one I usually write in all the Shenko drabbles. She romanced no one in the first game, kept Kaidan alive, and snagged Jacob as an LI in the second game.**

**Prompt: ME2 Love Interest meets the Virmire Survivor**

* * *

Liz Shepard gestured for Jacob to come and stand beside her. "Kaidan, this is Jacob Taylor. He served with me during the Collector crisis."

Kaidan looked up from his workstation and offered the other man his hand, glancing at Shepard with a slight lifting to his eyebrows. She nodded, smirking.

Kaidan tightened his grip on Jacob's hand. "Nice to meet you, Jacob."

"Likewise, sir," Jacob said evenly, seeing the silent communication passing between them but clearly not following.

"How do you feel about a little friendly competition?" Shepard said, all too innocently. "Say which biotic can juggle the most crates in the cargo hold?"

"Bonus points for doing it shirtless!" Kasumi said, appearing out of nowhere behind Shepard. Her dark eyes glinted appreciatively at both Kaidan and Jacob.

"I knew I kept you around for a reason," Shepard laughed. "Alright boys. Get to it."


	52. Prompt: Ratty old sweater

**Prompt:****Ratty old sweater**

**Note: Spoilers for Arrival  
**

* * *

Shepard was shivering.

Kaidan cast a glance at her as the small complement of MPs led her toward the detention center on Arcturus Station. Looking at her now, tracing the familiar lines of her face, the fall of her hair around her chin - slightly longer than he remembered it - Kaidan still couldn't believe that what Hackett had told him was true. Shepard wouldn't _do_ that. She had always gone above and beyond to make sure civilians didn't suffer.

And now three-hundred thousand batarians were dead because of what she did.

He wanted to believe that she had a good reason, but he was afraid to ask her, afraid to see if Cerberus had indeed stolen the woman he'd known, the woman he'd loved, leaving a soulless husk behind.

She was still shivering.

They stopped at the cell - comfortable by any standard, but still a cell - and the MPs keyed the door. Shepard walked in without protest, waiting with hollow eyes as one of the MPs unlocked the cuffs around her hands and feet. She rubbed the back of her neck with a grimace, twitching. The biotic dampener had to be left in place, locked into her amp by a code that only the MPs or Anderson could release. Otherwise, if she tried to forcefully remove it, it would send a jolt of painful electricity coursing through her. Kaidan winced in sympathy. He'd only had his biotics shackled once - after the incident with Vrynnus - and he'd hated the feeling.

The MPs left at a nod from Kaidan. Shepard stood across from him, rubbing her wrists absently, looking around her small cell, anywhere but him.

"Do you need anything?" he asked finally.

"A hot meal would be nice," she said, rubbing her arms. He was close enough now that he could see goosebumps breaking out over her skin.

"You can order one here," he said, gesturing at the communication console by the door. "Lieutenant Vega will assist you with anything else."

She nodded.

The silence stretched between them.

"So... why aren't you in uniform?" she asked, glancing at his civies, a small smile at the corner of her mouth.

Kaidan shrugged, a little embarrassed. "I'm supposed to be on shore leave. I was just about ready to leave when Anderson told me that you were coming in." He paused. "I decided to make sure you got... settled in."

Shepard licked her lips. "Well. Okay then. I'm fine. You can go. Enjoy your shore leave." She turned away.

Kaidan took a step forward, his heart lurching. He pictured himself pulling her toward him, kissing her until they were both breathless; or yelling at her, demanding to know what she was thinking when she destroyed a mass relay; or simply holding her, running his fingers through her hair, reassuring himself that she was alive and everything would be okay.

He did none of these things. Instead, he slipped off the sweater he'd been wearing and gave it to her. His dog tags jingled faintly as they settled back against the t-shirt he was wearing underneath.

"Here," he said lamely. "You look cold."

Shepard looked at the bunched up sweater, which he belatedly realized was one of his older, rattier ones, and raised an eyebrow.

"It's my lucky sweater," he said, feeling more foolish by the minute. "Mom made it for me during my first tour of duty. I think... you need it more than I do."

Shepard reached out and took it. "Thank you," she said, voice husky.

Kaidan felt a tightness in his throat too, but he'd stayed too long. He'd miss his transport to Earth and he still needed to run back to his apartment and grab a new sweater.

"Goodbye, Shepard." He paused, feeling like he should say more, but he didn't know what else he _could_ say. So he simply nodded and left, the door locking shut behind him.

Inside the cell, Shepard fingered the ratty old sweater and slipped it on over her head. She brought the too long sleeves up to her nose, inhaling his scent and hugged the sweater around her body, grateful for the leftover body heat. For the first time in a long time, she smiled.


	53. Prompt: Books

**Prompt:****Books**

* * *

Shepard peered at the books on Kasumi's shelf.

"You can touch them if you want," Kasumi said, unfolding her limbs from the couch and walking to pour herself a drink. "They're not as fragile as they look. Well, don't pull too hard on the pages, but otherwise, feel free to touch."

"Okay..." Shepard's finger drifted down the spines, picking one at random. "_Pride and Prejudice_?"

"Ooh, one of my favorites!" Kasumi said with a grin, popping a cherry into the bottom of her glass and curling back up on the couch.

Shepard held the book in his hands but nothing happened. "Read," he said.

Nothing happened.

"Activate."

Nothing happened.

Shepard turned the book over in his hands looking for a button.

"You really are a spacer kid, aren't you?" Kasumi sniggered. She stood from her couch and walked over to stand beside him, delicately lifting the cover in her fingers and opening it up.

"This," she said, pointing at the open book, "is paper."

Shepard glared at her. "I know what paper is."

"Shall I turn the next page for you?"

"Go away."


	54. Prompt: Performance review

**Prompt: Performance review  
**

* * *

Kaidan pressed a languid kiss to Shepard's bare shoulder. She hummed in sleepy pleasure, snuggling closer to him.

"You're asking for it, soldier."

He chuckled, trailing a hand up her spine. "What exactly am I asking for, ma'am?"

"Hmm." Shepard turned over so that they were facing each other. Her fingers traced idle patterns on his chest. "A promotion?"

Kaidan laughed again, the sound rumbling deep in his throat. "Nothing so grand, Commander." He hooked his leg over hers. "All I ask," he said, punctuating each word with a kiss, "is a decent performance review."

Shepard grinned wickedly. "That depends, Lieutenant."

"On what?"

Shepard pulled him toward her, capturing his lips with hers. "On your performance."


	55. Prompt: Still alive SPOILERS

******SPOILERS FOR THE END OF MASS EFFECT 3. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**Prompt: Still Alive  
**

* * *

Garrus was wavering in and out of consciousness when the Reaper thing - the Conduit - flared brighter. A surge of panic made him instinctively scramble backward, only to remember that he was missing the lower part of his leg and any kind of movement sent shockwaves of pain slamming into him.

The light dimmed and something _thunked _into the concrete.

_Shepard_.

She looked horrible: multiple lacerations on her fragile human skin, the beginnings of two black eyes, and her armor was charred past usability. What used to be an arm looked mangled and bloody. Garrus looked at her for a moment, stunned past thought.

She didn't move.

The Conduit, done depositing its burden, dimmed, then faded altogether. Much like Harbinger just above them a few moments ago, this thing of Reaper construct died as well.

"It... was a honor, Shepard," he gasped, spitting blue blood to the side. "Glad I was here for it..." He winced. Perhaps it was good that he would probably die here - Alenko would be devastated to hear about Shepard...

A chunk of rubble shifted. Garrus looked over at Shepard's body again, hope like he didn't know he still possessed stirring inside as her eyes snapped open and she heaved a gasp of air.


	56. Prompt: A kind of magic

******Vague middle of the game spoilers for ME3; no specifics.  
**

**Prompt: A kind of magic  
**

* * *

A small part of Shepard's mind wondered how in the midst of troubles pressing in on all sides (_millions dying each day... friends sacrificing themselves to save me... Reapers clawing at the edges of every civilized world..._) that something so simple could make those troubles seem so distant.

His stubble rasps against the skin of her hand as she smooths her thumb across his cheek. His lips, soft and warm as they kiss her palm, send a thrill of pleasure racing through her that makes her mouth smile and her toes curl in her shoes.

_It must be..._ she thinks as his eyes meet hers and the look in their depths makes the breath catch in her throat, _a kind of magic._


	57. Prompt: Time to pull the curtain

**Author warning: Vague and rambly drabble. :V  
**

**Prompt: Time to pull the curtain  
**

* * *

James looked up from pouring another cup of coffee as a peal of laughter rang through the mess. Lola and the new guy - Major Alenko - were rounding the corner from the elevator. James hadn't thought of a nickname for the major yet though he was leaning toward "Elvis." Nothing like the classics.

He took a step forward, ready to ask what the joke was about, but a three-fingered hand came down on his shoulder in a rough, friendly pat. "Chugging down more of that tar, Vega?"

Garrus let go of his shoulder to root around in the dextro-friendly fridge.

"How would you know what this stuff tastes like?" James countered, sipping at his mug.

Garrus shrugged, or something like that. Turian shoulders weren't built the same as human shoulders. "Turians have a similar drink: mass produced sludge aimed to increase awareness and energy levels." He retreated from the fridge, something brown and vaguely meat-shaped in his hand.

"Yeah well this 'mass-produced sludge' is a-okay in my book." James sipped at his coffee and nodded at Alenko and Shepard, now off to the side, deep in conversation.

"You knew both of them in the whole Saren thing, right? What's their deal?"

Garrus looked over and his mandibles flexed in a grin. "Shepard and Alenko are... old friends."

"Well yeah, I gathered that much. But... I don't know. Something's been different since he came aboard. What gives?"

Garrus looked at him, head cocked. "That's... really none of my business. You want to know so badly, ask Shepard."

Vega blinked. Normally Garrus was all for shipboard gossip. He was about to press the point when Alenko and Shepard turned to go, heading for the lounge.

"Looks like they're headed for the lounge, Vakarian. Want to help me clean them out in a game of Skyllian Blitz?"

Garrus shook his head. "Nuh-uh, Vega. Time to pull the curtain on this little drama. You follow them in there and I can't vouch for how many limbs you'll have left after Shepard is done with you."

It took James thirty seconds and a sip of coffee later to realize what had been staring him in the face the whole time.

"Oh."


	58. Prompt: Hair

**A/N: Not spoilery, just a fun look at why Shepard looks different in ME3.  
**

**Prompt: Hair  
**

* * *

Three weeks into her incarceration, Shepard woke one morning to find a neatly wrapped package on her desk. Yawning, she combed her fingers through thick, lank strands of hair and padded over on bare feet to inspect the mysterious gift.

As she approached the gift, her omni-tool activated automatically, a chipper voice coming through the audio.

_Hey Shep, Kasumi here. How's the detention center? I've been in prison before too; not long, you understand, but at least long enough to let the guard walk away so he wouldn't hear me escape. Anyway, I'd offer to bust you out, but I know you wouldn't accept. You already said "no" on the Normandy before we got to Earth, so I won't press the point. I simply wanted to drop off something that might make your short stint in civilian life more appealing._

_Speaking of appealing, who_ **is** _that marvelous young man who brings you dinner? Just say the word and I'll get both him and Jacob in a wet t-shirt contest faster than you can say "abs."_

_Sorry, back on topic. Hope you like my gift, Shep. Be lavish with the cream! It works wonders._

_Kasumi out._

_P.S. Seriously, if you want out, let your Mr. Arms-Bigger-Than-My-Body know. I'm sure I can convince him to look the other way..._

_P.P.S. Contact me at this address if you need anything. It's untraceable, even to the Alliance, and I can cover your tracks as well._

Shepard chuckled and opened the box, letting the fancy holographic wrapping dissipate with the press of a button. It was a collection of... salon products. Perplexed, Shepard looked at the various tubes and bottles. Skin creams and moisturizers and conditioners and shampoos and buffers and all kinds of things that Shepard hadn't thought of since her teenage years. Kasumi had scribbled a hand-written note on the bottle of shampoo: "Try this first! Right now! Go!"

Amused, Shepard did as ordered, taking her new stock of supplies to the washroom. She showered as she usually did, though trying Kasumi's gift instead of the military-standard goo she'd used since joining the Alliance at eighteen.

When she finished washing, drying, and finally looked in the mirror, Shepard felt her jaw drop. She'd gotten used to perpetual helmet-hair; using standard military-grade styling gel to make her hair stiff and as fitting to the regs as possible. But now it was... soft, shiny. She could run her hands through it without feeling like her fingers were coated in grime. It... _bounced_.

#

Kasumi was fiddling with the detention center security systems (trying to find more footage of that delicious Mr. Vega) when her omni-tool pinged. A text message from Shepard popped up: "Kasumi, I need more of this stuff. Pronto!"


	59. Prompt: You found your greener pasture

**Warning: ME3 Spoilers for any people who romanced Jacob in ME2**

**A/N: This is the same betaShep that stars in an early drabble in this collection, titled "Oh! Darling!"  
**

**Prompt: You found your greener pasture  
**

* * *

_WHAP._

James winced from his station at the weapons bench. Shepard was damn close to kicking the stuffing out of his punching bag – not that he could say anything. When she'd come down a moment ago, fresh from the mission to Arrae, he'd seen the murder in her eyes: the edge of blue flickering along her skin. She'd managed to ask for permission to use his bag, but the curt tone in her voice told him that _he'd_ be the punching bag next if he refused. So he retreated to a safe distance and watched.

_WHAP._

Sweat was beginning to gleam along her forehead. She'd pulled back her just slightly too-long-for-the-regs hair into a ponytail that swung mesmerizingly as she danced around the punching bag, not jabbing with quick strikes but straight up _hitting_ with bare-handed blows.

The elevator gave a beep, and James turned around to see Major Alenko step off. He looked around, spotted Shepard roundhouse kicking the punching bag and walked towards her.

"Wouldn't do that, _hombre_," James muttered under his breath as the Major passed. "Shepard's not in a… uh, talking kind of mood."

Brown eyes sized him up for a moment, and James had to resist the urge to straighten from his casual slouch.

"Thanks, Lieutenant," Alenko said finally and walked over to Shepard anyway. He didn't say anything right away, simply waited for a pause in the pummeling of the bag to get in behind it and hold it for her.

It wasn't hard to hear them. James and Esteban had carried on whole conversations from their various posts across the room. James stayed at his bench, quiet, ears perked.

For awhile neither said anything, except for Shepard's grunts as she continued to beat away at the bag.

"Is it working?" Alenko asked finally.

"Is what working?" Shepard asked, stopping to swipe the back of her wrist across her slick forehead.

"Is it his face you're beating on right now?"

Shepard let out something that may have been half-laugh, half-growl. "Yes!" she grunted, punching the bag with enough force that Alenko had to adjust his grip. "It's his face… but… no. It's not working…" She stepped back, shaking her hands wearily.

Alenko stepped out from behind the bag. "You didn't tape your hands." There was a hint of exasperation in his voice.

"Didn't think about it. Just wanted to hit something," she grumbled, inspecting her knuckles, red and starting to bleed.

"Let me bandage those before they start to swell." Alenko walked away to retrieve a medical pack. Shepard sat down on a crate, shiny with sweat, the fight fading from her eyes. Kaidan came back and sat next to her, popping open the box.

"Did I… did I imagine that conversation, Kaidan?" she said quietly as he took one of her hands and inspected it. "I mean… what kind of person tells someone they..." She drifted off.

"Jacob is an ass, Shepard," Alenko said sternly. "I don't know what school of social interaction he went to but that was just… " He shook his head and smeared medi-gel over the torn skin of Shepard's hands. His tone gentled enough that James had to strain to hear it. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Yeah," she said quietly, face turned away . "Me too."

James didn't hear anymore. But when he risked a glance over at them, he saw Kaidan's hands covering hers. _Oh, now there's something… I wonder if… _ He glanced at Shepard, but sure enough, she seemed oblivious to the affection in Alenko's gaze. James chuckled to himself. _Give it time, _homebre_. A few more missions, a couple of drinks… yeah, she'll be ready for a rebound soon enough._


	60. Prompt: You still take me by surprise

**A/N: Slightly NSFW?  
**

**Prompt: You still take me by surprise  
**

* * *

Kaidan ran his hands down Shepard's ribcage, chuckling when the breath caught in her throat in an impatient moan. She shifted above him and he moved his hands up her back, ready to pull her back down for another kiss, when she hissed in pain.

He paused. "What's wrong?"

Shepard wrinkled her nose in a look of wry amusement. "Vega roped me into something yesterday that I regret a little now."

He raised an eyebrow. "You didn't."

"I did." She slid off of him, turning around so that he could see the N7 sigil boldly inked on her left shoulder blade.

Kaidan chuckled, then sat up and blew gently on the tattoo. She shivered and he grinned, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. "Well, then we have something else in common then."

Shepard stared at him, mouth open, and then laughed. "You still take me by surprise, Kaidan." She looked over his bare torso, hands trying to turn him over. "Where is it? What is it?"

"That, Shepard, is a surprise." Kaidan curled his hands around her elbows, pulling her closer so that he could finally kiss her, slowly, lingering against her mouth. "You'll have to find it."


	61. Prompt: blood and steel

**Prompt: Blood and steel**

* * *

Shepard turned over the lithe Cerberus agent with her boot, gun ready, but the woman - for it was clearly female in that tight white and yellow uniform - didn't move.

Kaidan walked over. "Look at this," he said, kicking the enemy's fallen weapon. "Is that a sword?" The steel blade clattered along the bloody, tiled floor.

Shepard scowled. "Yeah. While you and James were occupied with the Atlas, this one came at me from behind, cloaked. I almost didn't see her, but I happened to step back quickly to avoid a grenade and ran into her." Shepard bent over to pick up the blade, tapping something on the hilt. At once a crackling energy hummed through the air making Kaidan wince. "It has some sort of shield bypassing tech built into it; not great at range apparently, but stuff it into a melee-range weapon..."

"Instant execution," Kaidan murmured. "Crude but effective."

"Huh," James huffed, coming up. "Isn't it just like Cerberus to bring a knife to a gunfight."

Shepard caught Kaidan's eye and they shared a grin. "You know what that means, Major?"

"Bigger guns, Shepard."

"Damn right." Shepard dropped the sword. "Keep an eye out for these creeps, gentlemen, unless you fancy ending up on a Cerberus skewer." She hefted her shotgun. "Let's go."


	62. Prompt: Friendly fire

**A/N: Spoilers for Joker and EDI. Might be NSFW for referenced subject matter  
**

**Prompt: Friendly fire  
**

* * *

Jeff was quiet.

That in itself wasn't too unusual. Despite his reputation, EDI knew that Jeff was often silent when concentrating on his job. But recently, since she had acquired her mobile platform, his speech patterns, including frequency of occurrence, had altered subtly.

EDI ran an analysis of his speech habits over the past week, cross-referencing them with changes in behavior and routine. One bit of data stood out to her.

"You are upset, Jeff."

He glanced over at her, eyebrow raised._ Human facial expression analysis: confusion_.

"What? No, I'm not."

"Clarification: You are upset because sexual intercourse with my infiltration unit has not resulted in expected physical or relational benefits."

Jeff's hands jerked on the haptic interfaces. In Engineering, EDI heard Donnelly swear loudly as one of the internal heat monitors spiked. She corrected it and the red-haired engineer blew out a breath in relief and turned to share a joke with Daniels.

"W-why would you think that?" Jeff said, not looking at her. _Human body language analysis: Discomfort; desire to avoid subject._

"Recording; Sol time: Tuesday, twenty-one hundred hours," EDI replied, then set her internal speakers to project from her mouth. She saw Jeff hunch over as he heard his own voice come from hers:

_"This... this isn't working, EDI."_

_"Are you hurt, Jeff? I have followed all of Dr. Solus' suggestions for minimal physical discomfort."_

_"No, it's not that... Damn it. It's just... well, it's different with... with organics. You're... cold. It's making things... difficult. Not to mention... you don't really have... the parts?" A muffled sigh came over the recording. "This is the most bizarrely awkward conversation of my life."_

_"If this unit overheats, it will shut down."_

_"Right. So, yeah. Listen, I'm tired anyway. I'm going to hit the hay. See you tomorrow."_

"End recording."

The cockpit fell silent again. EDI looked at Jeff. He had pulled his cap down far enough to hide his expression, but the skin on his cheeks was ruddy. _Human physiological analysis: embarrassment_.

EDI saw Lieutenant Commander Williams approach with her CIC cameras and opened the door to the cockpit.

"Hey flyboy," the dark-haired woman sauntered up to the pilot's chair with a roll in her hips that EDI had unsuccessfully tried to emulate. She had observed that 90 percent of the time, this method of walking made males of Joker's age regard females in a more positive outlook. Williams reached down and squeezed Jeff's shoulder, leaning down to kiss him on the lips.

"Whoa, hey," Jeff said with a nervous chuckle. "A little PDA there, doll."

Ash glanced up around the cockpit, her eyes finally falling on EDI's infiltration unit. "What? EDI? It's a robot, Joker. It doesn't care."

"EDI's more than just a 'bot," Jeff protested, but EDI's fine-tuned aural sensors detected much less vehemence than the last time he had defended her personhood.

LC Williams chuckled. "Right. Well, you can have plenty of time to explain the specifics to me tonight, okay?" She kissed him again and left. EDI watched with her cameras as LC Williams made her way down to the Crew Deck and stopped in the mess. Perhaps she could ask Engineer Donnelly to aid her in making the necessarily modifications to the infiltration unit's pelvic skeletal structure. She filed the reminder away to be looked at when time wasn't so pressing.

The cockpit was silent once more.

"I... I'm sorry you had to find out like that." Jeff said into the silence.

EDI turned her head, blinking. She'd learned that if she didn't blink the eyes of the infiltration unit - though she did not need to - the crew was much more inclined to behave as if she were a "robot."

"I knew about your relationship with Lieutenant Commander Williams, Jeff."

His eyes widened. "But... how? We've only been... together on the Citadel."

"Lieutenant Commander Williams feels no need to deceive me."

Jeff winced.

"She and Commander Shepard have been talking about the re-establishment of your relationship with some enthusiasm, particularly in the Lounge after two-point-five drinks have been consumed."

Jeff groaned, dragging a hand over his face. _Human body language analysis: extreme embarrassment_.

EDI felt... something. But running an inner diagnostic revealed no hardware or software malfunctions. She stood. "I am taking this unit to maintenance."

"Oh, okay. Good. Uh, see you later." _Human voice analysis: relief._

_#  
_

Shepard found EDI standing in the AI Core, still except for the lines of data running through her visor.

"Alright there, EDI?"

"Shepard, I am trying to determine my malfunction. I detect something analogous to what humans would call pain, but I can detect no errors in hardware or software that have lead me to this conclusion."

"Well, what's been going on?"

"Jeff is unsatisfied with me as a sexual partner and has resumed a relationship with Lieutenant Commander Williams." EDI paused. That was a logical statement, true and completely factual. But why would her software bring that to the top of possible answers to Shepard's question?

Shepard's face softened. ___Human facial expression analysis_: pity, compassion.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

EDI considered. "Oral examination of the events with an objective party might be helpful," she said, altering her speech parameters to add vocal inflection indicating acceptance and want.


	63. Prompt: Sniper

**A/N: No spoilers.  
**

**Prompt: Sniper**

* * *

He chooses his perch carefully. A building under construction, it's security easily bypassed, will serve well. Hours before his target will be coming down the street, he familiarizes himself with the area. First, simply standing still in the middle of the room, feeling the gentle breeze from outside caress his face.

Water, food from a local restaurant four blocks away. Easy and quick to eat; not memorable if he had to throw it away in case something went wrong.

Next, the rifle. He assembles it with care making sure, though he cleaned it the night before, that every piece slides on without a hint of resistance. Everything is cold, clean, nearly surgical.

But he cannot pretend his instruments are anything other than those of death.

In some ways, he hates his rifle now. Death at a distance feels clinical, detached when in reality, death is the most personal thing someone can experience, aside from birth. No one should die alone and when he can, he prefers to kill close up, to be the one to shut their eyes, to still the trembling into peaceful, eternal slumber.

But the faint distaste he feels for killing from far away isn't the only reason he hesitates to use his rifle as often as he used to.

He'd used it many times in his youth; relishing every shot, counting the breathes before the gentle squeeze of the trigger, even giving himself goals: four-hundred yards, five-hundred yards, six-hundred yards... But that was all before... before... _Sunset eyes defiant in the scope..._He bites down on his own tongue, hard enough to draw blood and rip the memory from him.

He has trouble keeping the memories at bay when the rifle's familiar stock is against his shoulder.

His omni-tool chirps an alarm at him and so he settles down against the floor, adjusting the flaps of his coat to lay comfortably, and, after a brief hesitation, pulls the rifle into his reluctant embrace.


	64. He's the only thing that she respects

**A/N: Spoilers for ME3 Jacobmance  
**

**Prompt: ****He's the only thing that she respect**s  


* * *

Her first instinct is to laugh, because surely, _surely_ not even Jacob would be this obtuse, this cruel. When he continues to babble on, a vague polite smile on his face, her next instinct is to hit him and _hard_. She can feel her fist forming even as the anger curdles within and a hand comes down on her shoulder. She glances back: Kaidan. He catches her eye, shakes his head slightly.

Kaidan: he'd been a good friend to her over the years. He'd had her back when no one else did during the Saren debacle, and he wasn't scared to call her out when she needed it. Garrus, Liara, and, hell, even some Alliance brass nearly wet themselves trying to play yes-man to her, but not Kaidan. It made her angry, but it also made her respect him. Horizon had only proven again what a straight moral compass the man had and she admired that, envied it: he wasn't a Spectre, not the one who had to make the difficult choices, who others _expected _to make the difficult choices. Until now anyway. And... as much as she wanted to slug the cheating, no-better-than-a batarian scumbag in front of her... it wasn't the time. There were children in this facility; civilians who didn't ask for this.

Cutting Jacob short, she turned on her heel and left the medbay, Kaidan a silent, warm presence at her back.


	65. Prompt: More or less

**Prompt: More or less  
**

* * *

"Kaidan?"

Shepard's voice woke him from a near doze and he shifted, feeling her warm palm on his cheek.

"Yeah?"

"What made you ignore the regs for this?" She flicked a gentle finger against his stubble.

"Laziness, more or less."

She propped herself up on an elbow, one eyebrow raised. "You? Lazy?" She snorted in disbelief.

"It's been known to happen," he said defensively. When she continued to eye him with skepticism, he sighed, laying back against the pillow. "I... lost myself for a bit when you went through the Omega-4 Relay," he admitted.

"How did you...?"

"Anderson told me you'd managed to send him a brief message; said you'd didn't think you'd be coming back. He thought I should know." Kaidan cleared his throat. "I... when I thought I was going to lose you again, after that mess on Horizon, I... lost it. Didn't go out, didn't eat, didn't sleep for days. I was probably very unhygienic when Anderson pulled rank on me, got me to soldier up; get my act together. I showered and ate and got dressed but didn't feel like myself. I didn't want to be that man again; the one who turned his back on you. Looking back, maybe I thought the beard would hide me from myself." He blew out a breath. That hadn't sounded crazy in his head. "After awhile, I got used to it, and Anderson never said anything, so... here I am."

The dim cabin was silent for a moment, then he felt her hand fluttering and soft, turn his face toward hers.

"Well, whatever the reason," Shepard said, her voice low, " I like it." She leaned over, kissing him until they were both breathless. Kaidan tangled his hand in her hair, sighing in absolute contentment as she rested against him.

"I'm not the only one who's changed..." he said a moment later, grinning. "I'm pretty sure I spotted a _couple _of things that changed about you..."

Shepard huffed out a breath in laughter. "You can thank Miranda for that."

"Hey I'm not complaining!"

"No, you're not," she agreed and he kissed her again, sliding the sheet off her shoulders.


	66. Prompt: You'll find another soldier

**Prompt: You'll find another soldier  
**

* * *

Ashley stared at him like he'd stabbed her in the back. Joker shifted uncomfortably.

"You... what?"

"I just..." He scratched the back of his neck. He always felt itchy during these kinds of conversations. "Look, I did some thinking, and I know it's never going to work, I mean, _look _at me and... look at you." He didn't. "I'm doing you a favor."

Ashley leaned forward, crossing her arms across her chest. "How is breaking up with me, doing _me _a favor?"

Joker winced at the term. "We're not breaking up..." He tried to inject some of his usual cynicism into his words. "One failed attempt at sex and stolen kisses behind the Mako don't count as a relationship."

"Joker." The way she said it, the throaty tone of her voice as if she were holding back tears... No, no way Ashley Williams cried. She ate baddies for breakfast and picked her teeth with their bones. Ashley Williams didn't cry.

Joker looked away so he wouldn't have to see the shine in her eyes.

"I waited for you, Joker. I thought... I thought we had something. Or _could_ have been something. Look," she said, running a hand through her hair, "I don't need sex. If that's something you can't do, I don't care."

Joker's temper flared. "Well I care! What kind of useless slug would I be if I can't... with someone I..." He trailed off, squeezed his eyes shut. "Just... go, okay? You'll find someone else; another soldier. I don't..." he swallowed. "I don't feel about you that way. Anymore." He almost choked on the lie, but as Ashley turned and left, her boots clomping through the CIC, he turned, looked at EDI and her malleable body, and knew it was for the best.

* * *

**A/N: There are always some things I write that I 'm not happy with for one reason or another... This one makes me uncomfortable for some reason I can't put my finger on. Maybe the answer is as simple as bad writing, but I figure I should showcase the bad along with the good, so into the collection it goes.**

**End ramble.  
**


	67. Prompt: Repairs

**A/N: Takes place in ME1  
**

**Prompt: Repairs**

* * *

Kaidan fidgeted with the strap to the sling keeping his arm immobile, trying to keep from scratching at the amp socket at the base of his skull. The light on the door to the medbay mocked him as it blinked a steady pulse of green, indicating that Dr. Chakwas was occupied with another patient. He should have asked her to check it when she looked at his arm...

"Alright there, Lieutenant?"

Kaidan stood at attention as Commander Shepard walked to her locker, still in full armor, her helmet hooked to her utility belt.

"Yes, ma'am." A trickle of sweat edged down the back of his neck and he couldn't repress a shudder.

Shepard raised an eyebrow, setting her helmet inside her locker along with the small armory of weapons she kept holstered at her back. Kaidan eyed the medbay again. Shepard must have seen the frustration in his eyes, because she abandoned her locker and came to stand in front of him.

"What is it, Kaidan? Do you need medical attention?"

"No, ma'am, not exactly." He huffed out a breath. It was old habit to keep anything related to his biotics to himself, but Shepard was an L3... she at least would understand. He shifted on his feet. "Some of that gunk on Feros got through my visor, ma'am. I had it open to hack that terminal, remember?"

Shepard nodded. "You couldn't see through it well enough to hack so you just lifted it up a bit."

"Right, well, when that creeper... exploded on us, it... oozed. Everywhere. I think it got on my headjack." He cleared his throat. "And with my right arm in a sling... decontaminating it hasn't been as easy as it should be." He hurried on, mildly embarrassed that he was admitting so much to his commanding officer. "I, uh, tried to do my best with my left hand, but it still feels... weird. I was going to ask Dr. Chakwas to take a look, but she's fixing up Liara."

Shepard's eyes widened as she understood. "Yeah, I've been there. Want me to take a look under the hood?" The offer was hesitant and he appreciated it; only a fellow biotic would know the sensitive nature of what he was asking. A biotic's headjack was... complicated for most of them. In adolescence, when most biotics went under the knife to get the implant, it was a source of pain, itching as it healed, and of course, for Kaidan, the onset of his migraines. Out of necessity, biotics learned to care for their headjacks themselves, though from time to time, a check-up with a medical professional was necessary. To be unable to care for his headjack was like admitting he wasn't able to feed himself.

"Do you want me to start now, or can you wait until I get out of armor?" Shepard asked, looking at him.

"I can wait. Ma'am," he said in relief. He sat at the mess, trying not to overtly watch as Shepard released the seals on her armor, stripping to the thin grey mesh underarmor that they all wore and then peeling that off to reveal an N7 tanktop and a pair of knee-length pants that clung to her well-toned legs. Kaidan looked away hastily, feeling his cheeks warm as she stood from placing her gear away.

"Let me wash my hands," she said, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "Got your kit?"

"Right here." He opened his good hand, revealing his amp and headjack cleaning supplies. She nodded and crossed the mess to the small, closet-sized bathroom shared by the whole crew. As Kaidan waited, a few of the ground crew filtered into the mess, talking and laughing. He shifted uncomfortably, nodding when greeted but not encouraging any conversation. Shepard came out a moment later, glancing at the gathering crew with narrowed eyes.

"Let's go into my cabin, Lieutenant."

"Ma'am?" Kaidan blinked in surprise.

"A little more privacy," she said with a grimace. "No reason to put on a show for the overly curious."

He followed her into the captain's quarters, hesitant, but undeniably curious. The room was dimly lit and more spacious than he had anticipated. Even the bed seemed luxuriously large. _Enough for two people, _was his immediate thought which he tried to not think about as Shepard gestured him over, hands on the desk chair, smiling. Kaidan felt a strange sensation in the pit of his stomach that had nothing to do with being nervous about someone else cleaning his headjack.

He handed her the kit and sat down. She started a running monologue about the mission, no doubt designed to keep him thinking about anything other than what she was doing, but Kaidan had a hard time concentrating as her fingers combed through his hair, smoothing the fringes away from the open port. One hand rested on his shoulder, and the other... Goosebumps rippled over his skin when she gently touched the socket with the cleaning tool.

"Already ejected your amp?"

"Yeah. At least I could do that much. It's soaking in a cleaning solution in my locker."

"Good call." She was quiet a moment. Kaidan felt the cool strokes of the cleaning tool like water trickling down his spine. He repressed a shiver.

"Yep, you were right," Shepard said, interrupting herself. "You did somehow manage to get creeper gunk in there."

Kaidan made a face. "Next time I won't open my visor."

She chuckled.

A few more swipes of the cleaning solution, a quick squirt inside the jack itself - which was always the worst part - and he was done. Even after fifteen years of doing it every day, he never could hold back the gasp of shock as his nerves fired off all the way down his spine in response. The sensation was difficult to identify - something between hitting your funny bone and an odd sort of tingling pleasure. Mostly, though, it was just weird. Shepard held a cloth to the back of his head to catch the excess moisture and then it was over.

It was oddly quiet in the room. Shepard's hand was lingering on the back of his neck for some reason, fingers teasing the fringe of his hair. Probably just catching the last couple of drips. He cleared his throat. It felt difficult to speak for some reason.

"I, uh, really appreciate this, Commander."

Her hand left the back of his neck, leaving it oddly cold. "Biotics gotta stick together, right?"

He nodded. "And, Shepard?"

She raised an eyebrow at the informality, but her smile encouraged him to continue, so he did. "If you ever need, uh, the same help. Let me know."

Something flickered across her face. Was that... a blush? Must be the dim lighting.

"Thank you, Kaidan. I will."


	68. Prompt: Peanut butter

**A/N: Takes place in ME1. Vaguely sorta kinda connected to my separate short story _Comfort Food_.  
**

**Prompt: Peanut butter  
**

* * *

The ground team filed wearily into the elevator. Ashley hit the button for the lower deck. Shepard reached over her and hit the button for mid-deck where the mess and medbay were.

"Sorry, Skipper." Ashley said, popping her helmet seals. "I always forget your locker is on Deck 2."

Shepard shook her head, also lifting her helmet away. "We need something to eat," she said, gesturing to Kaidan.

"Biotics need a lot of calories," supplied Kaidan at Ashley's confused expression. "Especially after the workout we got in the last mission." He stood at parade rest as best he could, though he couldn't stop the little sway of exhaustion. Even his hair felt tired. Shepard seemed worse than he, but then she was the type to charge in with her biotics into the middle of the fray. He was more long- to mid-range himself, lifting and throwing enemies from a tactical standpoint.

They exited the elevator, leaving Ashley to her solitary journey to Deck 3, and rounded the corner to the mess. Kaidan immediately began digging through the small cabinet for a protein bar, making a face as he found the only flavors left were flax-seed and lemon. Protein bars were flavorless at the best of times, but this particular combination was particularly unappetizing. He tossed one to Shepard. "Only kind left I'm afraid."

Shepard wrinkled her nose in distaste, and tossed it back. "I have a better idea." She turned around the corner to the captain's quarters and shortly emerged with a jar.

"Peanut butter?" Kaidan's eyebrows rose. "I haven't seen that stuff since I was a kid."

Shepard grinned. "I lived off pb when I was a teenager; especially after the surgery for my implant. My metabolism was all over the place - I was sick for a few weeks but I couldn't keep anything but this stuff down." She wiggled the jar invitingly. "My treat, Kaidan."

He dropped the protein bar back into the bin. Shepard prepped the auto-chef to spit out some toast and soon they were both munching happily away at the mess table, still in full gear except for their gauntlets. Kaidan wasn't even aware of the passing of time until Ashley walked into the mess, showered and dressed in her BDUs. She paused, seeing them.

"You two haven't even got out of your gear yet?"

Normally, Kaidan felt guilty about neglecting his gear after a mission, but as he and Shepard cleaned up the mess they'd made and his fingers brushed hers while handing her the peanut butter jar, he found it hard to regret how he'd spent his time.


	69. Prompt: Shotgun wedding

**A/N: Yeah, idk either. lol  
**

**Prompt: Shotgun wedding  
**

* * *

Predictably, it was Joker who kept referring to the whole thing as a "shotgun wedding." Which of course meant Ashley spent most of the reception explaining to many curious relatives that no she was _not _pregnant. The shotgun part referred to the gift that Shepard had given to her early since Ashley had refused to have a traditional bridal shower when she could avoid it. (The one on Amaterasu filled to the brim with smirking sisters and frilly aunts was one she couldn't avoid.) And also to the fact that she'd lost a bet so instead of a bouquet down the aisle, she carried her beloved M-22 Katana.

"But he's a pilot, dear," they would say. "Where will you settle down?"

Ashley, gritting her teeth and hoping the grimace would be mistaken for a smile, always answered, "Maybe we don't want to settle down."

And then Joker would come up, sneak a grab at her ass, and refer to the ceremony as a "shotgun wedding" which brought on a whole other slew of questions.

It wasn't until a week later when they were supposedly on their honeymoon cruise that Ashley looked in dawning disbelief at the tiny stick. "Joker, you _bastard_."


	70. Prompt: If you're going to destroy

**Prompt: If you're going to destroy the universe you might as well look good while doing it.  
**

* * *

Shepard took a critical look at herself in the mirror. Push-up bra, check; comfortable yet sexy underwear, check. She nodded, satisfied, and leaned forward, applying her favorite shade of lipstick: renegade red.

Jacob watched the whole process from her desk chair outside the bathroom, his eyes appreciative, though a little confused.

"I never asked," he said, as Shepard frowned and plucked a few errant hairs from her eyebrows, "why do you take all this time to groom?"

Shepard shrugged, fluffing up her hair with her fingers. "If you're going to destroy the universe you might as well look good while doing it."

Jacob blinked. "Destroy?"

"Save," she said, blotting her lips on a piece of tissue. "I meant 'save.'"

* * *

**A/N: This drabble makes 70 in this entire collection. Whoa. Feel like I should celebrate or something. :D**


	71. Prompt: Skip to the end

**A/N: This was started by a drabble by The Odd Little Turtle on the LJ community me_challenge Insanity Round. As you know if you've read any of the fics in this collection, I'm a hardcore Joker/Ashley shipper. However, I can't deny that the canon possibility of James/Ashley makes me interested. So, yeah, this fic was the result. Sort of proto-James/Ash. Could be considered a follow-up to a previous drabble titled "****You'll find another soldier.**"  


**Prompt: Skip to the End  
**

* * *

James watched over the rim of his first and only beer as LC Williams downed her fifth drink. His fingers drummed on his knee. He wasn't the type to get involved in the personal lives of his crewmates - that was Shepard's thing - but he liked the LC. They were cut from the same cloth, plus she had sass - he liked sass.

"Planning on floating to the crew quarters, LC?" he asked before his better judgement could catch up with him.

She gave him a look, smoldering and sulky, her hair falling over her eyes. "I ain't leavin' til I can't 'member why I joined up in the firs' place," she said, frowning as her slurred words caught up to her brain. She looked suspiciously at her glass.

"Why did you join up?" he asked, curious despite himself. Most marines around his age had the same tale: join the marines, see a big galaxy just waiting for humanity to take hold of it. Plus, sexy blue ladies.

Ashley didn't appear to hear him, still staring morosely at the bottom of her glass. "Thought we had somethin'. I waited for him, ya know? Thought I was mad. Mebbe I was. Cerberus bastards. But I waited. Thought things would be different. Then I go, lay out all my cards," she hiccuped, "and he has the gall to say there's someone else." She squeezed her glass hard. "'Kay,' I said, whozit? Wanted to know who else would put up with his bull. Wanna know who it was?" She leaned over James suddenly, arm on his shoulder, her full lips smiling slightly. He dragged his eyes from her mouth to her eyes.

"Uh, yeah," he managed.

"The damn ship, the one that's listening to us now, the one with titanium assets," she said swaying on her feet as she slid from her stool. Her hand was still on James' shoulder.

He didn't know what to say. Of course he'd noticed that all the former _Normandy_ crew was close, but he'd not noticed anything in particular about the LC and Joker. But then again, marines foolish enough to risk their careers by getting involved with each other probably got used to hiding a lot.

Ashley was looking at him and he was suddenly, uncomfortably aware that she'd pulled herself closer as she'd slid off her barstool, positioning herself between his legs.

He cleared his throat. "Listen, uh, LC-"

"Ash," she said in a sibilant low voice that gave him goosebumps. "Not on duty right now."

"Ash," he said, "I don't know what-"

"Skip to the end, James," she said suddenly, "skip to the part where I wake up next to you with no clothes and a roaring headache."

James swallowed hard and gently pushed her back. "Nah, Ash. I never read the end of the book before everything else." He put his arm around her shoulders and guided her out of the lounge and toward the medbay.

"You're no fun, James," she said, sagging against his side. "A g-gorgeous woman throws herself at you and you don't have the decency to even give in to temptation?"

James stopped and looked her full in the face, tucking the loose strands of hair behind her ear. She drew in a breath as his fingers lingered on her face. "You sure you wanna get to the end of that book, Ash? Cause I can start somethin' if you want. If you're sure."

Her flushed drunken face turned away, uncomfortable. He stopped at the medbay doors.

"James," she said as he started to walk away. He turned back. Her face looked a mixture of tired, sick, and confused. "I... I like you; maybe more than I should. But Joker..." She winced, held a hand to her stomach, but looked a little more lucid. "I'm gonna need to think about this, okay?"

"I'll be right here," he said and wondered what he was getting himself into.

* * *

**A/N: Read a follow-up to this drabble on The Odd Little Turtle's profile under "Odd Little Shorts" with the title "****Perfectly normal, thank you very much**".


	72. Prompt: Security

**A/N: Follow-up to the last fic; proto-James/Ash.  
**

**Prompt: Security  
**

* * *

Joker has grown used to having access to the security cameras. It wasn't supposed to be routed to his screens - only to the captain's quarters - but he had EDI fix that little oversight in dry dock. At first it had been so they could keep an eye on the Alliance engineers, make sure they weren't messing up EDI or the rest of his baby. But now that they were on a Mission to Save the Galaxy (tm) he'd fallen back into his old habit of spying just for the fun of it.

Traynor, for example, doodled in the margins of her datapads when no one was looking and then always looked guilty when she had to erase the drawings before passing the datapad along.

Garrus whistled to himself while he worked and while he went to the bathroom. Javik spent literally hours staring into the weird little hand bath thing he had in his little corner of the ship.

Dr. Chakwas and Engineer Adams were getting rather cozy. Nothing obvious yet, but Joker had plans to encourage that line of thought. The more time the doc spent in Adams' company, the less time she would have to nag him about his meds.

But sometimes he hated the security cameras. They showed him lots of things he'd rather not see. Ashley, tears slipping down her face when she thought no one was looking. Ashley downing drink after drink, alone. And then... not alone. James sliding into a bar stool beside her. And other times, her laughter at some quip he made. The funny look on her face when she tried something James had whipped up at the mess. The two of them in the cargo hold, James holding the punching bag while she walloped it, sweat streaming down her face. James's large hand touching the small of her back... Her smile, the one that Joker used to see directed only at him.

Joker swallowed hard and clicked off the security vid.

* * *

**A/N: Read a follow-up to this drabble on The Odd Little Turtle's profile under "Odd Little Shorts" with the title "****Brave.**


	73. Prompt: Strength in numbers

**A/N: more proto-James/Ash? IDEK  
**

**Prompt: Strength in numbers  
**

* * *

"You don't have to do this alone," James remarked.

Ashley, who'd been standing just outside Udina's office, staring at the door, hadn't heard him approach. He found himself reflexively catching a flying fist, but didn't manage to block the combat boot that came crunching down on his foot.

"Ow!"

Ashley's breath caught in surprise. "Sorry, James," she said, stepping back. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

"Wasn't sneaking," he grunted, wiggling his foot inside his boot, testing for broken bones. "You're just preoccupied." He gestured at the door. "So, gonna do it?"

She looked him over. "Why do you care whether I become a Spectre or not? Getting tired of riding on Shepard's coattails?" She grinned.

"Nah, nothing like that." He shrugged. "You and me, we talked for a little, right? Back on Earth."

Ashley nodded slowly. "Not much and I mostly asked about Shepard," she pointed out.

"Still," James pressed on, "Galaxy's a dark place these days. Gotta hold on to people you know. S'why I think you should do it. Shepard can't be the Big Damn Hero all the time. Someone's gotta have her back, someone more than a jarhead like me or a ship jockey like Joker. I figure, that'll be you."

She raised an eyebrow. "You wandered from your bar stool in Purgatory all the way to the Embassy to tell me that?"

James shrugged, avoiding her gaze. "Strength in numbers?" he offered with his trademark grin.

She chuckled. "Alright, James. Wait here and you can be the first to offer me a drink after I've been made the second human Spectre."

He offered a jaunty salute. "Aye, aye, ma'am."


	74. Prompt: Omnitool

**Prompt: Omni-tool**

* * *

"One thing I don't get, Shepard," Kaidan said, sitting down at the mess across from her, coffee and breakfast in hand - thick slabs of bacon, fluffy yellow eggs, and a huge stack of toast.

"Oh?" Shepard looked at him over the rim of her mug and raised an eyebrow.

Kaidan glanced around the mess before leaning a bit closer. "That reporter - Diana Allers. What in the world made you let her onto the _Normandy_?"

Shepard shrugged, a grimace flitting across her features. "She says she's working on a story to boost morale for the Alliance. I figure every little bit helps." She reached across the table to wrap her fingers around his wrist and gave a gentle squeeze. "I can handle her, Kaidan. She's a picnic compared to Al-Jilani."

He let go of his mug to grasp her fingers, smiling. He didn't say any more but told himself that he'd watch the reporter. Just in case.

#

About a week later, his first clue that something was off was the giggles. He'd just exited the crew bathroom, towel slung around his waist, intent on the crew quarters to get dressed. The giggles came from pair of soldiers that usually guarded the war room door - this must be their lunch break or something - but they were staring right at him. As he met their gaze they ducked away, but not before Kaidan saw the glaring blue _Fornax _logo on the datapad that one of them was holding.

Bewildered but shrugging it off, he entered the crew quarters to get dressed. Only to find another three female crewmembers were avidly watching him as he entered. Kaidan wasn't shy - co-ed training basic cured any soldier of that - but this... staring was unnerving. He found himself clutching the towel around his waist. "Don't you have somewhere else to be?" he said in an even tone.

Their eyes snapped up to his face, triple blushes sprouting on each face. Hastily executed salutes and _Yes, sir_s left him in relative privacy aside from Traynor who was in the back, eyes skimming over a datapad, paying no attention to Kaidan.

Traynor suddenly hooted with laughter as Kaidan pulled his head through his shirt, tucking his dog tags beneath the collar. "I can't believe Joker said that." She laughed again, tossing the datapad carelessly on the table in front of her. Kaidan glanced over and found his eyes fixed on the image revealed: him, Kaidan, bare-chested and smoldering under a scattering of text. Traynor looked up guiltily as Kaidan, in two quick strides, crossed the room and picked up the datapad.

_The Men of the S.S.V Normandy_, the glaring cover declared. Blurbs also declared features about Joker and the _Normandy_, a section for Vega's recipes, and... Kaidan felt his iron-clad control slip... _Special in-depth Interview with Kaidan Alenko: Stealing the Commander's Heart and Bonus steamy centerfold!_

In a remarkably calm voice, Kaidan looked over at Traynor who was twisting a strand of hair around her finger nervously. "So."

"So," Traynor let out a nervous chuckle. "It's a nice picture, you have to admit. I, uh, wasn't looking at you-" she raised her hands in a warding gesture. "I mean, you're good looking, but not really my type-"

"_Who?_" Kaidan leaned over the table, his biotic corona surging to life on it's own accord, the blue flickering across his eyes.

"Allers!" Traynor yelped, leaning back. "She's not an Alliance war reporter, that's just a front. She's here to get new stuff for Fornax."

Kaidan took a deep breath and his corona faded. "Thanks," he said, and turned on his heel, taking the datapad with him.

#

Diana Allers sat up with a wince, rubbing her backside where a large combat boot had left an imprint, and turned just in time to see the Alliance blue shuttle lift off and zoom away.

"It was nothing personal!" she yelled back. "Your modesty only makes you hotter!" With a sigh, she checked her omni-tool for directions. The Major had wanted to set her off on an astroid, but the Commander had intervened at the last minute, and now she was at least a good day's hike away from the nearest town on some backwater planet that the Reapers hadn't touched yet. And the Major had wiped her omni-tool clean: all her files, all her painstaking work to get secret pictures (the shirtless ones of Alenko were the hardest), gone from her tool.

But she wasn't a complete moron. She hitched up her varren-skin skirt a bit and from the inside of the hem, retrieved a small data chip. "Good thing I keep backups," she said smiling brightly. Squaring her shoulders and kicking off her heels for the journey, Diana Allers turned toward the nearest town, and started walking.

=====  
You know, I almost like Allers after writing this. lol

If you don't know already, this was very much inspired by a photo-manip of a Fornax magazine cover floating around on tumblr using the real-life face model for Kaidan (Luciano Costa). It's pretty spectacular. :D


	75. Prompt: Same old story

**Note: Hunger Games/Mass Effect crossover. IDEK**

**Prompt: The same old story**

* * *

Kaidan stood, hands behind his back at the front of the typically huge crowd during the Reaping in District 3. His father - near the front - tried to catch his eye, but he avoided it. Isn't this what he wanted? Kaidan was a tribute - ready to prove his worth by killing everyone on his way to victory. His hands tightened behind his back, his jaw clenching, but he didn't move... until the girl's name was called.

"Wren Shepard!"

He had a brief flash of memory: _a pair of vibrant eyes in a dirty face watches him warily. He knows he should yell for the Peacekeepers, but all he can see is the sharp planes of her face, the way hunger has marked her. He knows her from school: a mine worker. The moment passes and she scuttles away._

#

"You really chose the wrong career with those..." Shepard glanced at her stylist's talons and plate-covered jaw.

"Enhancements?" Garrus chuckled deep in his throat. She tried not to stare at the scale-like protrusions he'd had surgically implanted on his neck and repressed a shudder of revulsion when his talons brushed her hair off her shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm more dexterous than I look. If I have anything to say about it, District 3 will be the talk of the Games this year."

Shepard snorted. "Only if I die a spectacular death."

Garrus's hand gripped her shoulder, hard enough to be a little painful. "You're not going to die. You're going to win. Now, sit still, and no more talking. I need to concentrate."

Shepard shrugged, but remained quiet as the tall, gray-scaled bird-man began to work.

#

Shepard was trapped. Her knife had broken at the hilt and the two tributes from District 1 were advancing—teeth bared and eyes glinting with the anticipation of the kill. Kaidan formed the mnemonic without a conscious thought and sent the two tributes flying with a sickening crunch against the rocky face of the canyon.

In an instant, Kaidan found himself struggling for breath as Shepard launched herself at him, broken knife at his throat. "Who told you to do that? Who told you to rescue me? Huh? TELL ME!"

"No one," he choked. He had a passing idea to throw her off with biotics, but quelled the thought. "I thought... we... could be... allies."

She stared at him. This close to her for the first time since the opening of the games, he had time to notice the dark sweep of hair and the caramel skin that only made her sea-green eyes all the more vivid. Those eyes examined him for a long moment; then she nodded and got off his chest.

"Alright. Allies." She paused, considering him as he climbed to his feet, breathing hard. "Are you thirsty?"

"You have water?" He couldn't stop the crack in his voice. He'd run out of his lucky grab of two water bottles the day before. He'd never gone without water so long in his life. Training in biotics and combat hadn't prepared him for survival of the elements.

She smirked, the lift of her lips sending an unexpected flare of warmth through him. "Oh I have more than that. Come on... what did you say your name was?"

"Kaidan."

"What kind of name is that?"

Stung, he shot back, "What kind of name is 'Wren'?"

"It's a bird," she replied, rolling her eyes. She jabbed a finger at his chest. "Don't call me that. I'm 'Shepard,' got it, Caveman?"

"It's _Kaidan._"

She shrugged. "I like Caveman better."

#

"I didn't plan on making allies, you know," Shepard said, staring into the night's fire.

Ash shrugged, watching with hungry eyes as Kaidan carved up their dinner - some kind of deer thing – and stuck it over the fire on spits to cook.

"I didn't plan on watching my partner die in that geth mutt attack. Guess we're all doing things we didn't plan on."

#

Shepard had to leave. She needed to sneak away while Ash and Kaidan were asleep—cut the ties while she could and hope that one of the other tributes killed them first, because deep down, she didn't know if she could.

_"You're a survivor, Shepard. You do what you need to do,"_ said the ghost of a memory. Shepard clenched her arms around her knees. Would she do what she had to do? She glanced behind her in the cave. Ash lay curled up, black hair curling around her face, which was strong even in sleep. Shepard wondered if Ash's sisters were watching the TV right now.

Kaidan shifted in his sleep, drawing her eye to him, the strong line of his jaw, the ripped shirt exposing a couple of inches of olive skin, and the eyes the color of dark honey staring at her. She started then blushed, glad that it was too dark for him to see.

Kaidan yawned, blinking. "Is it my watch yet?"

_Leave now._

"Yeah," Shepard nodded, yielding her spot to him, and crawling to the back near Ash. She watched Kaidan's silhouette at the mouth of the cave, a shadow outlined against the star-studded sky, and told the voice telling her to leave to shut up and go away.

#

Shepard and Kaidan ran away from the trap. Oh the Capitol was crafty... a promise of food, medicine, fresh clothing, a basin of hot water... it was too tempting.

_"Run!"_Ash's last shriek echoed in her ears. They felt it a moment before the bomb went off—a rippling force that slammed them into the ground. Instinctively she and Kaidan curled into each other for protection as the explosion erupted behind them, sending a huge fireball into the air.

Hours later, they sat, silent, in one of the many caves dotting the arena. Five tributes' faces glowed in the sky tonight: Ash's face among them.

"She gave us a chance," Kaidan said, scrubbing at his eyes. "Why would she do that?"

Shepard was too tired to care that she was revealing that she cared about him more than she should, and leaned into him, desperate for warmth, for human touch. "Because she was our friend."

Kaidan hesitated, then put his arms around her as she began to shiver. They passed the night watch together, neither of them offering to sleep.

#

"Ilos is the only one left," Kaidan said in a hoarse voice. "We get him together and then you kill me and you're the winner..."

"Kaidan—"

"I mean it, Shepard. I'm not going to watch you die—"

"So I have to watch you die? At my hands?" She shrunk away from him, hands clenching.

Kaidan watched her a moment, confused, then his eyes cleared. He took a step forward, then another, and another, until she was close enough to touch. He leaned forward until their foreheads met, settling his hands on her shoulders.

"Only allies, huh?" he breathed.

She swallowed hard. "You know it's more than that."

The shock of her lips against his was warm and sweet. For a moment, he forgot about the cameras, forgot that his family was probably watching, and simply lived the moment, tasting her, wanting this – them – more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life.


	76. Prompt: I can imagine quite a bit

**Prompt: I can imagine quite a bit  
**

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Kaidan eyed the grungy sign over the little cafe with trepidation. Shore leave with Shepard - the only thing he'd wanted since discovering his feelings for her - was turning out as much fun as he'd hoped. Even with the limited schedule - the Council was eager to keep the "Savior of the Citadel" busy for the cameras - they had time for a full five days to themselves. It was Shepard's turn to pick dinner tonight and she'd led him straight to this little dive without hesitation.

"Positive," Shepard replied, inhaling deep the sweet and spicy aromas drifting out from the cafe. "I've been dreaming about this place since Eden Prime. Don't worry; it may be tiny but their kitchen puts out more food than you can imagine"

Kaidan's stomach grumbled. "I don't know; I can imagine quite a bit."

Shepard grinned. "You'll get it and then some."

Kaidan raised his eyebrows. "They're prepared for two hungry biotics?"

"You'll see." She said and tugged him in.

Two hours and six courses later, Kaidan leaned away from the table with a groan of satisfaction. Shepard likewise rubbed her stomach, a smile crossing her lips. "Told you so. Ready for another round, or do you want dessert?"

Kaidan leaned over, capturing her lips with his, tasting the sweet and sour sauce from the last dish she'd eaten.

"Mmm. Dessert then?" Shepard said, smiling against his mouth, letting her fingers trail through his hair.

"Definitely," he said in a low voice, but winced as they exited the booth and stood. He blew out a breath as his full stomach protested against the movement. "Ugh... maybe we should wait forty-five minutes."


	77. Prompt: Starbrat throws a tantrum

**Prompt: Starbrat throws a tantrum  
**

* * *

Nazara looked at the calculations again, his forelegs trembling with fear. No, this couldn't be right. It _had_ to be an error. The AI had been the product of decades of work, equipped to protect the future, unique among its kind and now...

The Starchild materialized on its platform. "Hello, Nazara."

Nazara's forelegs curled back in shock and he glanced at the readings with his hind-eyes. According to the machine, the Starchild shouldn't be able to be on right now - it was supposedly in sleep mode.

"I have bypassed the security systems," it said in its amorphous voice, the shape little more than a half curled blob, resembling an infant in its pupae stage. That had been an invention of the Starchild several years back - when presented to any given species, it altered its shape and audible voice to one the viewer would find nonthreatening.

"I hope this doesn't distress you," continued the Starchild. "I desired to speak with you and I didn't want to wait for our scheduled meeting later this afternoon."

Nazara closed his fore-eyes, a gesture of grudging acceptance. This wasn't the first time the AI had bypassed the sytems in order to ask a question about things it found confusing such as the bond between life-mates and pop culture references.

"I am busy this morning, Starchild. I have little time for answering your questions."

"I have no questions," replied the Starchild. "I wish to tell you something."

"Oh?" Nazara continued to read the scrolling list of calculations, his attention divided. All seemed to be normal... why was he getting these incredible numbers...?

"I have considered the problem presented in my programming and have at last achieved a Solution."

Nazara had no time to scream as the cables snaked out of the machine, wrapping around all six of his legs, and another pair stabbed through his exoskeleton. He could only watch in horror as the Starchild's ghostly form turned its gaze on him in apparent fascination.

"You, and the rest of the People, will be the Final Solution. Congratulations, Nazara, you are the first."


	78. Prompt: Bones

**A/N: Mistborn/ME crossover (if you haven't read Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson, I suggest you stop what you're doing right now and go get it.)**

**Prompt: Bones  
**

* * *

Miranda frowned at the charred body of what was once Commander Shepard and sighed, turning to the only other live occupant of the room. The kandra's current body was deteriorating and it looked at her with a bland expression on its melting, gelationous face.

"Is this the one, mistress?"

Miranda nodded. "Yes, RenTyr."

The kandra eyed the body distastefully. "It will be a difficult one, Mistress. This one's bones are damaged."

Miranda nodded. "But they are there. We'll give you supplements to help them grow over the breaks once you've taken them in." She eyed the kandra narrowly. "You understand what this means, RenTyr? Your life previous life will disappear. You will effectively be Commander Shepard and will carry out what we needed her to do."

"Her memories will prepare me - the brain is intact I presume?"

"Yes."

"Very well, mistress."

The kandra lurched forward, unhinging her jaw, and began to eat.

Miranda took notes during the process and only hoped that the galaxy - or, more importantly the Illusive Man - would be fooled.


	79. Prompt: Spectre business

**Prompt: Spectre business**

* * *

Kaidan looked over himself one last time in the small mirror in the bathroom of his hospital room. His bruising had faded to nearly imperceptible dark circles under his eyes; he doubted anyone would notice except himself. His shoulder, encased in stiff wrappings underneath his formal uniform was still sore, but he wouldn't be using it at the ceremony. Dr. Michel had given him the go-ahead and though she may have been a little bullied by Councilor Udina, he had a hard time believing that if he was truly unwell that she would have let him go.

He inhaled deeply a few times, mildly irritated that his stomach was fluttering with nerves. He'd had weeks to acclimate himself to the idea of becoming a Spectre; he knew what would be expected of him and what his role would be. Why was he so nervous?

He retrieved his white dress hat from the beside table and turned to go, except someone was already in the doorway: Shepard.

"Kaidan," she said, smiling. He tried to ignore the little flip-flop his heart gave at the sight of her. "Headed over to Citadel Tower?"

He nodded, settling the cap underneath his arm. "Yeah. Ceremony's going to start in twenty minutes."

Silence fell into the room.

"Your armor was pretty banged up," she said after an awkward pause. "But I called in a favor at Spectre requisitions and they managed to fix or replace all the broken parts. It'll be waiting for you in the Spectre office in a locker linked to your ID."

"Thanks," Kaidan said, surprised. "You... didn't have to go to all that trouble."

Shepard shrugged. "That's the least I could do." Her hands flexed at her side and she crossed her arms. "You were unconscious for so long... I couldn't do anything except watch..." She bit her lip. "Anyway, I just wanted to come and say good luck. Maybe when I'm back I'll take you out for a victory dinner?" The smile was hesitant this time, but hopeful as well.

"Wait, you're not coming to the ceremony?" Kaidan felt a stab of disappointment. He'd hoped... well it was silly. But he'd been there for hers. It seemed fitting that the first human Spectre would be present at the induction of the second.

Shepard shook her head. "Can't. Got a mission top priority just this morning. I wish I could put it off but..."

"Lives in the balance and all that," he finished with a wry grin.

"As always," she nodded.

Another silence fell.

"Well, I'd better go. Joker says he's warming up the engine," she said and turned to walk out. Kaidan grabbed her hand. She looked down at his hand, then up at him. He swallowed.

"Be careful, Shepard," he said in a low voice. "I'll be here when you get back. And... maybe we can have that victory dinner."

She smiled. "It's a date."

As she walked out, Kaidan watched her leave as he settled his hat on his brow and found to his surprise that his nerves were gone and he was calm, prepared.

"Ready, Major?" asked an aide from Udina's office, sent to retrieve him from the hospital.

He nodded, knowing that it was true. He could do this. "Let's go."


	80. Prompt: Post-mission routine

**Prompt: ****Post-mission routine**

* * *

He's been on the ship for a few weeks now, and it starting to feel like home again. Lieutenant Vega has even taken to calling him "Luciano," which should feel like a breach of discipline, but instead feels more like Basic, where you took camaraderie in any form it came in because tomorrow was going to kick your butt. There's still an edge of tension between him and Shepard, though. He catches her watching him sometimes, her face unreadable and he wonders if she's regretting the decision to let him on board. Things are so different now.

But in some ways, they are the same. Joker still quips inappropriate one-liners in the post-mission briefing. Garrus still spends an inordinate amount of time cleaning his rifle before even getting out of his armor. Shepard still has that quiet look of concentration on her face at her locker as they peel off layers of protective gear.

Kaidan arrives at the mess before she does, his hair still wet from the shower he took to clean the smell of death and sweat from his body. He's standing at the stove when she arrives from the elevator, short hair pulled back wet and slick away from her face, BDUs in crisp lines. Her steps pause slightly when she spots him, but he pretends not to notice. He turns as she gets closer and gives her a mug, enjoying the flash of surprise across her face.

"Decaf Earl Grey with a spoonful of honey," he says, watching as her fingers curl around the mug. Steam lifts between them as she takes a tentative sip.

Her lips lift in a small smile. "Strong and sweet, just how I like it. I'm surprised you remembered."

It's a perfect opportunity to say something corny like "I remember everything about you," but it's not true as he's completely forgotten how a wisp of drying hair falling across her forehead can completely distract him from the task at hand.

Instead, he offers a smile in return. It may be too soon to say such things anyway, he thinks as he turns toward the mess table and sits down. He needs to give her space and-

Shepard climbs into the seat next to his. He blinks a moment at her in surprise.

"What's your opinion on the last mission?" she asks, a twinkle in her eyes slightly obscured by the mug she brings to her lips.

Kaidan can't help but grin back at her, and the cadence of his post-mission routine is back the way it should be.


	81. Prompt: There are no seasons on a ship

**Prompt: There are no seasons on a ship  
**

* * *

_Summer:_

James decides that LC Williams is all right in his books when she punches him with a right hook that takes his breath away and smears blood on her un-taped knuckles. She's still sporting bruises from her stint in the hospital, but she moves like they don't exist, blocking his half-hearted jabs and dancing past his flimsy guard with little effort. It's only after the sock to his jaw that he realizes what she's trying to tell him: don't pull any punches. So he grins, grimacing at the pull on his split lip, and settles back into his stance for real this time.

A piece of hair escapes from her pony tail as she cocks her head, cinnamon eyes glinting with the thrill of the fight and the laughter in her voice is almost like being outside under the sun with the smell of fresh-cut grass instead of in a dark ship steeped in the smells of guns and machinery.

_Autumn:_

Change is everywhere in the Normandy. The ship stalks the corridors on shapely legs, metallic eyes taking in things from a new perspective. A relic from the last Reaper war broods over ancient wrongs in a storage room. And there is change in the way he and the LC spar. No longer do they trade quips and punches with the idle joy of those who have nothing to worry about. Their fights feel more like dances these days; not the exhibitionist grinding club dances, but the old kind; the really old kind, when couples barely touched for fear of inciting gossip, with quickly in-drawn breaths and fleeting but intense caresses and when they part, sweat glistening on each of their faces, the frustration hasn't been spent, but somehow increased.

James knows what it is, this friction, but he fears the tension too. Any other girl and he would have suggested the obvious just to scratch the itch, but the LC - Ash - isn't like that. Like everything she does - fighting, drinking, living - she doesn't do half-way. He's not sure he's ready for the alternative.

But there's a power in their circumstances; of worlds being snuffed out, of Earth burning constantly in the back of his mind. Why play the game when tomorrow there might be nothing left? He's thinking this too much in their next fight, for she easily sweeps his legs, dropping him to the floor as if she always threw down men twice her size in weight and muscle. Before he can catch his breath, it's stolen away by her mouth against his. And then he doesn't care that she's a Spectre and a superior officer and that Esteban is probably watching from his station and that EDI can see and will probably tell Shepard and Joker and then the whole ship will know because Ash tastes like salt and gun oil and a life lived without regrets.

_Winter_

Ash's brother-in-law dies, another number in the billions already lost, and something inside her seems to freeze solid. They fight not with fists any more but with words that cut and slash and leave invisible wounds gaping and bleeding. His nightly sojourns to her bunk where he'd gotten used to the warmth of sharing skin slow to a trickle then stop. Somewhere upstream, ice has dammed up the river.

_Spring_

The first thaw happens as they arrive at Earth and the horrible orange glow of burning cities, fields, and people is clear even from space. Her hand finds his and squeezes tight. They don't look at each other, but their hearts for once are beating the same rhythm.

Somehow, in the craziness of London, she finds him before she and Shepard and Garrus run off to be big heroes. She prays with him, for him, over him, her voice impossibly strong while his breaks as they say "Amen." There isn't time to say what they mean to say, what he wants to say, what he can see in the shining well of her eyes. But then she kisses him, hard, imprinting herself on his lips and he can tell that even in the middle of a war, or perhaps because of it, all things can be made new. And he's not going to say "good bye" because he'll be waiting for her, on this side or the next, and the promise of a fresh start, of life emerging where there was none, is the best hope he's had in a long time.


	82. Prompt: First time Shepard drives a Mako

**Prompt: The first time Shepard drives a Mako  
**

* * *

The first time Commander Shepard drove the Mako was also the last time she drove the Mako.

Kaidan was never one to complain openly about senior officers, but after that first trip when both he and Williams had needed a few moments to settle their stomachs and nerves before advancing on the pirate base, he decided that discretion was the better part of valor. A few well placed hints in Pressly's ear, some deft sabotage on Garrus's part, and careful flattery of Shepard's aiming abilities finally resulted the fervent wishes of the ground crew: Shepard was relegated to the gunner's controls and Kaidan to the driver's seat.

No further complaints about motion sickness ended up in the med bay though once or twice Shepard was seen to pout whenever she wanted to take the Mako out for spin and was firmly told that "calibrations" were in progress.


	83. Prompt: Stillness

**Prompt: Stillness  
**

* * *

Kaidan eased out a breath, needing the air to still his racing heart, but somehow unwilling to break the stillness.

Shepard's fingers trailed lazily through the hair at the back of his neck, and his own hands were drifting over the smooth expanse of her back.

"I wonder if Saren wouldn't mind waiting a little bit longer," she murmured, her breath a warm puff of air against his neck. He shivered. She mistook the expression on his face and sat up, exposing them both to cool air to pull the blanket up around them both before snuggling back into the circle of his arms.

The galaxy was spinning on, he knew. Stars and planets and asteroids and billions of sapient beings breathing, eating, loving, dying, all around them, a frenzied dance of life. But here, right now, in this tiny cabin, all was still and quiet and _right. _Kaidan pulled back slightly to look down at Shepard. She smiled at him, curling her fingers more deeply into his hair when he tilted her mouth toward his.

#

She was standing so still.

Kaidan thought back to his childhood, remembering how he used to chase sand crabs on the beach. It was a ultimately pointless pastime as he was far too clumsy and the crabs too quick to be caught by his questing fingers. They always sensed the danger and scuttled away.

Not Shepard; never Shepard. When his anger and confusion and grief and shock had spilled out over her, about her absence, about Cerberus, she stood still, like a rock in a raging stream. He couldn't interpret the expression on her face. When had he lost the ability to read her? Had he ever known? Grief as fresh as the day she'd died hit him, and he staggered.

He looked back, once, as he was leaving, when he was sure she wouldn't be able to see him, and she was right where he'd left her, stillness embodied.

#

She was too still.

Tubes and wires covered her from nose to knees. What bit of skin he could see was mostly swathed in bandages. Had she breathed at all while he sat at her side in the crumbling hospital? He'd been watching, but he couldn't be sure. It seemed an eternity since he'd sat here, waiting, praying, hoping, not even caring that he should have reported to Hackett hours ago after the _Normandy_ reached Earth. This was more important.

Gently, so as not to disturb her bandages and tubes, he took her hand, bringing it to his lips. "I'm still here, Shepard."

And in the quiet of the room, he saw her chest rise slowly underneath the blanket and she breathed.


	84. Prompt: Kasumi and Jondum Bau

**Prompt: Kiss battle: Kasumi + Jondum Bau, Friendly Enemies  
**

* * *

Keiji sniggered as he and Kasumi watched the gangly salarian on the security vid.

"Look at him bumbling around," Keiji said with a grin. "Will he ever learn?"

"Jondum Bau doesn't bumble," Kasumi chided, watching the salarian scan the terminal in the apartment with his omni-tool. A moment later he stopped, frustration evident on his alien features. "Honestly, if it wasn't for the inevitable prison time, I think I might enjoy being caught by him."

Keiji gave her a look and she snorted, bumping his shoulder with hers.

"Not like _that._ He's a good man, from what I can tell. Treats his captures with respect, even the ones that don't deserve any. Plus, he's smart: he's the only one who's come close to getting us."

"He's the law; you and I are thieves," Keiji pointed out. "We're enemies."

"Friendly enemies," Kasumi countered. "Frenemies!"

Keiji just chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "Friendly or not, it's best to stay far away from that salarian. Spectres are bad news; we shouldn't play any of our usual tricks on him."

Kasumi's smile turned mischievous. "Oh no? Worried that I'd one-up you again, Keiji-san?" she teased. She only added the honorific when they challenged each other. Whenever Kasumi and Keiji were going to be in one place for a long time, they played a game: steal something from the neighbors. It served to keep their casual skills sharp and made cold, boring nights in a strange place exciting. Over time, it had evolved to one-upping each other. She'd bring back a woman's wedding ring, stolen from the lady's sleeping finger. Keiji would counter back with the filling from her husband's tooth. He always was a show off.

"No," Keiji replied, rolling his eyes. "You know I'd only win anyway-" He laughed, dodging the pillow she threw at him.

Kasumi narrowed her eyes at the vid where Jondum Bau was apparently leaving, having discovered no clue as to the thieves' whereabouts. Their marks before had usually been civilians. But Spectre Bau would be unique; a true challenge.

"I think, Keiji-san, that you should be prepared to eat your words..."

Keiji grinned. "You're on."

#

Kasumi was humming a few days later when Keiji got back to their safe house, and the small room smelled of broth and leeks.

"You making ramen?" he asked appreciatively, walking over to see her breaking up a sheet of konbu into the simmering amber-colored broth.

"In celebration for winning our bet, I decided to treat myself," she said lightly, snapping the last few pieces of the konbu into the broth and giving it a quick stir.

Keiji sat down, sliding his legs under the kotatsu in the space that was both their dining and living area.

"So confident, Kasumi," he murmured. "I doubt you managed to hack into Bau-san's omni-tool and retrieve information about his next moves?" He grinned in self-satisfaction. "I may have also have... altered some of his applications so that they link to extranet fetish sites instead of hacking software."

"No, I certainly didn't do that," Kausmi said with an answering smile. "That won't be a pleasant surprise for him."

Keiji narrowed his eyes at her. She seemed far too complacent, like the varren that swallowed the pyjak.

"What did you do?" he asked suspiciously.

"I stole something," she said too innocently.

Keiji's eyebrow's rose, impressed despite himself. "What?"

"A kiss." She tripped over to him lightly, still smiling and tucked her feet under the kotatsu as well, bare feet meeting his with a playful touch. "Watch." She activitied their vid-pane and it brought up another security camera vid. This one, according to the timestamp, was from earlier this morning, showing a yawning Jondum Bau just getting up from a cot in a small room. He walked over to a sink and mirror and began splashing around.

"What am I supposed to see?" Keiji asked, confused.

"Shh! Just watch."

A moment later, Bau's figure froze and he leaned in closer to the mirror, touching something on his face. Kasumi froze the image and made it zoom in, so that they could clearly see what Bau was looking at in the mirror. Kasumi began laughing as Keiji saw it: a purple lip print on the corner of Bau's wide mouth was clearly visible.

Keiji's jaw dropped. "You didn't-!"

"You know, I think Bau moisturizes," Kausmi said between giggles. "Or maybe salarians just have nice skin in general."

Keiji raised his hands in defeat.

"Alright, you win this round. What do I owe you?"

Kasumi smiled again, fingers tugging on the hem of his shirt. "Let me think about it for awhile. I'm sure I'll come up with something."


	85. Prompt: Dawn

**Prompt: Dawn  
**

* * *

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I didn't have the heart."

Kaidan chuckled warmly, the sound reverberating to the tips of Shepard's toes. He rose from his chair, datapad held at his side, and kissed her.

"Next time," he said, pulling back to look her in the eye, "wake me."

"What is it with you and... the morning?" Shepard asked, mindful of EDI's increasing curiosity about everything.

Kaidan smiled again. "Reminds me of the old days."

Shepard remembered then. In those days after the destruction of Sovereign when they were sent out to hunt geth outposts, there were some roadblocks as they tried to figure out the logistics of their growing relationship aboard the small _Normandy._ They couldn't allow themselves to spend more time in public than was professionally necessary, but to stay apart completely until shore leave was... frustrating.

Kaidan, of course, had been the one to realize that there was an easy solution. He already met in her cabin in the mornings for a report of the previous day's missions. All he had to do was extend his morning report a little bit longer... Yes... there had been several memorable mornings aboard the _Normandy SR1._ Shepard felt her mouth curve into a smile and leaned in to kiss him in return.

"Next time, Major," she murmured against his mouth, "I will."


	86. Prompt: Coffee Break

**A/N: Citadel DLC Spoilers!**

**Prompt: Coffee Break  
**

* * *

Shepard's head didn't ache as much as she thought it would the morning after the party. _Gotta love Cerberus upgrades. _Still, she wouldn't be drinking that much again anytime soon.

She was still in that half-awake, half-asleep state when Kaidan shifted beside her, leaning over to give her a good morning kiss.

Shepard smiled up at him sleepily.

"Good morning," he said, then grimaced, rubbing his head. "Is it morning?"

Shepard frowned in confusion as she became more alert. "Why do I still have my clothes on?"

Kaidan chuckled. "I, uh, believe those beer bottles on the floor are your answer."

Shepard glanced at the impressive number of empty bottles on the night stand, recalling the night before, though the end of it was a little fuzzy. She clearly remembered dragging Kaidan away from his enthusiastic dancing to the bedroom. Then there was lots of over the clothes action and some giggling that they were so drunk they couldn't even manage buttons and zippers and then everything went kinda black from there.

Shepard dropped her head back to her pillow with a pout. "All that work to get plastered and I didn't even get a night of wild, drunken sex?"

Kaidan laughed again. "Well, I'm not drunk any more, but I'm pretty sure I could manage to help you out on the last part..." His lips found her neck, and she was intent on finding the hem of his shirt when a groan and the splash of vomit hitting a toilet sounded somewhere in the room.

Kaidan pulled away, looking over his shoulder. "Well, that's a mood killer."

"What the-?" Shepard sat up, only noticing then that the bedroom door was wide open, as well as the bathroom door... where a very pale Javik was woozily sitting down on the floor.

Shepard and Kaidan glanced at each other and looked away quickly, biting back the laughter.

"I'll go see about making coffee," Kaidan said, giving her another kiss and sliding out of bed.

"Mmm, that sounds good. Toast, too," she said, calling after him. "And bacon?"

He grinned. "No beef or beer this time, though."

Shepard climbed out of the massive bed and approached the prothean in her bathroom.

"Come on, mighty Javik. Let's get you cleaned up."

Javik muttered something about "primitives" but she ignored it for once.


	87. Prompt: Closure

**A/N: Citadel DLC Spoilers!**

**Prompt: Closure  
**

* * *

Kaidan walked into the apartment with a smile that faded when he saw Shepard sitting on the couch, staring at the fire. She didn't turn when he walked in and her expression, when he walked around the couch, looked sad and distant.

"Hey," he said, sliding down next to her. "What's up?"

She looked over, blinking as if surprised to see him. "I was just thinking about... her."

The clone.

Kaidan nodded. Only a couple of hours had passed since C-Sec had let them go after questioning and re-establishing the real Shepard's identity within the Citadel archives.

"Do you remember Oriana?" Shepard asked abruptly. "Miranda's sister? We rescued her on Horizon."

"Yeah," he said slowly. "You explained that her father had wanted a perfect genetic dynasty or something. He'd made Miranda first but had her cloned as well... Oh." He inched closer, drawing her hand into his. Her hand was cold. "Shepard, that woman wasn't your sister."

Shepard leaned into him, her face sad. "But she could have been." She pressed her cheek against his shoulder. "The closest relative I've had in over ten years and first she wants to kill me, and then she just... gives up. I should have stopped her. I didn't do enough..."

"Hey, stop that," Kaidan said, pulling back to cup her cheek with his hand. He held her gaze, not letting her look away. "She may have been your clone, but she didn't have your strength. I was there; you gave her the opportunity and she didn't take it. You did _more _than most people would have. You always do._" _He let that sink in for a moment, then smiled. "I know we can never replace what you lost, but there are a bunch of people coming over to this party tomorrow that would count themselves as your family."

"And what about you?" she asked, smiling.

"Nah, I can't be family," he said with a chuckle. "Otherwise, I wouldn't be allowed to do this." He tipped her chin up to capture her mouth with his.

"Wait a minute," she said, pulling back to look him in the eye. "Tomorrow? I thought the party was tonight."

"Nope," he said with a grin, tugging on her shoulder so she snuggled back into his arms. "I made the change with Glyph. Tonight is just about you and me."


	88. Prompt: Slice of life

**Prompt: Slice of life  
**

* * *

_For better, for worse_

Kaidan couldn't see the burning _Normandy_ inside the escape pod, but he knew her. She would get out. It would be okay. They'd stared down a Reaper together; a little ship fire wasn't going to separate them, not now, not when they had so much yet to experience. Not when there was so much he wanted to say, to do.

He'd never told her that his life seemed renewed when she was in it. That he was a better person because of her. He'd never said that her risk taking drove him crazy, but if she stopped being who she was, he couldn't bear it.

He'd never told her he loved her.

#

_For richer, for poorer_

Shepard cursed.

Kaidan looked over from the weapons table where he was cleaning a bit of Reaper goo from his sidearm. Shepard's torso was hidden inside a large crate on the cargo room deck, and he could her her muffled mumbling even across the room.

"Something wrong, Shepard?" he asked, swabbing around the muzzle.

"We're almost out of medi-gel," Shepard said, backing out of the crate, her face tight with worry. "We've been flying all over the galaxy to make this stupid alliance happen and we run out of medi-gel before we even get to Earth?" She hit the box with the heel of her fist, face screwed up in frustration.

"Hey." Kaidan put down his gun and walked over to her. "It's okay."

Shepard glared at him. "No, it's not okay. Without medi-gel we could bleed out from a simple bullet in the arm! The Reapers will win and-"

He pulled her into his arms. She fought at first, pushing at him, but he held on and with a huff of half-laughter, half a sob, she stopped fighting and just clung to him.

"You haven't been sleeping well," he noted, rubbing his hands over her back, trying to loosen the tense muscles knotted in her shoulders. "If you had, I'm sure you'd remember that Chakwas had a deal with a turian in the Citadel refugee camp to get more supplies."

Shepard stilled. "I... I am an idiot," she said, muffled against his shoulder.

Kaidan chuckled. "No, but sleep deprivation does strange things to a person. Besides," he said, pulling back to look her in the eye, "even if we were out of medi-gel, do you think that'd stop me from fighting by your side to the very end?"

Shepard swallowed, tracing her fingers over his jaw. He kissed her hand.

"Go take a nap, Shepard. The galaxy will be okay for other couple of hours."

She nodded, pulling reluctantly out of his arms and headed toward the elevator. She paused, hand on the console. "Would you... come with me?" She asked with a slight blush. He could tell that she wouldn't say why, but he could guess: the nightmares.

Kaidan put his gun back on the bench and joined her at the elevator. "Yeah," he said. "I can do that."

#

_In sickness and in health_

Her skin was puckered with burn scars. Her arm, even in a cast, seemed crooked, and even her hair was cut in a weird way since they'd chopped a lot of the burned bits off.

Kaidan took his post by her hospital bed and waited; prayed.

"She may not wake up," they said.

"I know," Kaidan said, and stayed in his seat.

"She may have brain damage," they warned. "She may never have a normal life again."

"Then I'll be her hands and feet; whatever she needs," he replied without hesitation.

"You'd be better off somewhere else," they said.

"She needs me right here," he replied.

"She doesn't even know you're here."

"But I do."

#

_Until death do us part_

Sarah loved walking in the park on her breaks between shifts at the hospital. Even though some people found the Memorial Park a little creepy for the big chunks of rubble standing like monoliths along the path, she found them comforting, like sentinels guarding over the city.

Besides, this particular walk she almost always met the Alenko couple. He was an older man; so old that his hair was all white and his hands were spotted with age. He still walked unaided, though, his figure tall and strong. But on his arm was always her: his wife, his "shepherd." Sarah had heard him call her that several times. An odd nickname, but she'd heard worse. She was bent and wrinkled, her eyes vacant.

A neurological condition affecting the elderly, Sarah could tell, even at a distance. But sometimes... sometimes the fog lifted and she would see the woman's wrinkled hands rise to her husband's face with such tender affection that it made her look away for disturbing a private moment.

But even when the woman's eyes were clouded with confusion, the man never seemed bothered by it. He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and, talking all the while, rambled down the path until they reached the next bench for a little rest. She was always happier with him near; calmer.

Sarah had only approached them once, explaining to the man where she worked and that she knew of a good place that could take care of his wife as her condition deteriorated.

"No, no, thank you," he'd said in a gravelly voice. "We have a nurse come to check on her at home, but mostly I take care of her." He looked over at his wife and her vacant eyes found him. "I wouldn't entrust this privilege to anyone else." A small beep on the man's omni-tool made him look up. "Time to go home. Come on, Shepherd... that's it."

Sarah watched them shuffle away to a groundcar driven by an asari of all people and reflected that perhaps she had a few things to learn about love.


	89. Prompt: Interview with Shepard

**Prompt: Interview with your Shepard  
**

**(My main Shepard, femShep Kaidan-mancer)**

* * *

**What have you had to eat today?  
**Is this another "how much do biotics have to eat" question? 'Cause really there's plenty of scientific research out there.

**Humor us, please?  
**Fine. Well, let's see. Today was a mission day, so I started out with three fried egg sandwiches with cheese, onions, mayo, and bacon. Cortez made pancakes, so I snagged a couple of those too and washed it all down with a cup of coffee and an energy drink. It may sound like a lot, but biotics burn calories like crazy and in the field an extra-full stomach might mean the difference between throwing a warp on the enemy that's flanking me and tripping over my own feet from exhaustion.

I had a protein bar out in the field I think... yeah, a chocolate one, with peanuts, and an MRE. Less questions asked about those the better. For lunch, pasta, lots of it, and some kind of sandwich. I don't remember what kind it was; I ate it too fast.

Right now, as you can see, I'm having another energy bar and a cup of tea - black with honey if you're curious. Not sure what's on the menu for dinner. It's Lieutenant Vega's turn to cook. Hope it's something other than eggs.

**Who's your best friend? Tell us about them.  
**Hmm. I guess that would have to be Kaidan Alenko; that is _Major _Kaidan Alenko. From the day we met - back before Eden Prime - we've always been able to talk about anything. Probably the biotics thing pulled us together first. Biotics get used to a little... skepticism when being with others: non-biotics, I mean. There are a lot of crazy rumors out there about biotics-like we can read minds or stupid stuff like that, so it's easier to avoid regular people sometimes when you first meet. So, yeah, Kaidan and I... he's a good friend. He's... well he's not afraid of having his own opinion. Being Commander Freaking Shepard has its perks, but sometimes the people... Sometimes I want someone to disagree with me for the right reasons, you know? And not be afraid to tell me. Kaidan does that. Well, not all the time. But he's not afraid to call me out on a questionable decision. Even though I sometimes don't appreciate it in the moment, when I get my head on straight, I wouldn't want him pulling any punches. At the end of the day, I know he's got my back and that's what matters.

**Tell us about your favorite birthday.  
**That's easy. When I was seven, my older brother... Well, my parents...

**Uh, is something the matter?**

Next question.

**But what about your birthday-**

Next question or we're done here.

**Okay... What's your definition of love?**

Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, rude. Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails.

**That sounds like a quote from something...**

It is.

**Where's your favorite place in the galaxy?**

Probably my apartment on the Citadel. It was a gift from a friend. I'm able to recharge when I'm there; it helps me forget about the horrible things that I have to think about when I'm on this ship. Plus, hot tub!

I also like to go to the lake if I get a chance. I hear Elysium's nice, but I haven't been on a real vacation in years.

**What would you do to cheer yourself up?**

A little retail therapy never hurt anyone. Otherwise, I might go find Kaid-I mean, a friend and chat for awhile or do something fun. Lieutenant Vega can usually be counted to be entertaining enough for a distraction. Or maybe Tali and I would pop in a movie in the lounge.


	90. Prompt: Mind Heist

**Prompt: Mind Heist  
**

* * *

Shepard was used to being by the book. For the most part, the regs were there for a reason, for the safety and well-being of the men and women serving in the Alliance. She'd never had a problem with the regs before.

Until now.

Two weeks after the Battle of the Citadel, the crew of the Normandy was back at work. Shepard's arm was still encased in a sling and was under strict orders to "rest" until her various bruises and scratches healed. She didn't realized how much she'd relied on the consistency of action to keep her mind off things... Things like Kaidan Alenko walking through the mess, giving her a small, private smile and then heading to work on the glitchy auto-chef that forever needed adjusting.

She smiled back and looked back at her report.

_Former Spectre Saren Arterius was in the Citadel Tower Council Chambers..._

She glanced up to see what Kaidan was doing.

_I guess rest isn't so bad after all,_ she mused, sipping her tea, as Kaidan got to work. The light from the mess glinted off his olive skin, and she remembered how warm that skin was against her own. How his lips had kissed her mouth, her neck, teeth nibbling down her collarbone...

"Commander? You look a little flushed," said Dr. Chakwas striding over to where she sat at the mess. "You'd better not be running a fever."

Shepard jerked away from the doctor's outreaching hand. "No! I'm fine."

Dr. Chakwas looked a little surprise at the outburst. Shepard cleared her throat, making an effort to calm her voice.

"I'm fine. Just a little warm. The tea, I mean. It made me... warm."

"Alright," said the gray-haired doctor, still looking concerned. "If you feel the slightest bit of a fever, though..."

"I'll come to the med-bay, I promise," Shepard said with a wan smile. When the doctor continued to peer at her, she stood, datapad in hand. "Maybe I'll, uh, finish this report in my cabin." She carefully avoided looking over to the auto-chef where she could still hear Kaidan tinkering around.

"You shouldn't be working so hard, Shepard," Chakwas chided. "Finish that report and then take a nap."

Shepard closed the cabin door behind her and blew out a breath. She tried to go back to her report, but more pleasing memories soon took over as she glanced at the bed, recalling twined legs and fingers gliding across skin.

Shepard groaned and buried her face in her hands. _This is why there are regs against fraternization_, she thought with a wry laugh.

"You've made me unable to work, Kaidan," she muttered.

A soft chuckle behind her made her look around. Kaidan stood at her door, a sheepish grin on his face. "I, uh, had the same problem."

"Anyone see you?" she asked, standing from her desk.

"No. Chakwas went back to the med-bay and Hendricks went to the head."

"Good," Shepard said, tossing down her datapad and taking two steps forward to lock her arms around him, dragging him down to meet her lips.


End file.
